It has been so long that I haven't even thought about my blog in years
It has been so long that it is no longer a temporary break
It has been so long that it seems my blog is back from the dead
It has been so long that my blog feels like a stranger to me
Or worse, a friend who is now a stranger, which is the saddest thing ever
Are these really my posts?
Did I actually write all this?
What had I been thinking then?
What had been going through my head?
I am back to a friend I had abandoned
I am back to make amends
and guess what?
Coming back and writing feels just like breathing.
It is like the time in between never was.
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Exam Time
Dear Student,
So it is that time of the year eh? That time of the year when you wish you had attended all lectures, paid attention during the ones you had attended, made notes and so on. Yes, well no use crying over curdled milk.
Let me tell you a few things. I have been there, done that. You will probably stay up and study all night. Consume copious amounts of coffee or tea. You will maybe sleep for an hour and wake up disgruntled and disoriented due to sleep deprivation. Chances are, they will ask questions in the exam, that you were sure won't come and hence hadn't studied for. You will come home, catch up on sleep, wake up when the day is almost over, waste some time and the cycle will continue till the end of exams.
But, you should consider this as well. If it is an important exam, you will leave your place early. But alas! If you have your own vehicle, you will be stuck in traffic. Pedestrians will jump in front of your vehicle and show their palms to you, inviting you to talk to their hand. You will have no choice but to stop and let them pass. Not to mention the signals. They will always be red. You might think you will make it to the turn before the light turns red, but that is an illusion. The signal will always be red when it is your turn. If you are having a particularly bad day, then the signal will turn red just when you are about to cross it. It will be worse if you are going to use public transport. The buses and trains will be so crowded that you will think that you will die due to asphyxiation. You will never find a rickshaw or a cab willing to take you to the examination hall. You will even forget stationery at home. You might even forget or lose your hall ticket if you are the Chosen One.
You won't do as well as you expect to in your exams obviously. You will make promises of being sincere in studies for the next round of exams. But the promise is as sincere as you were with your studies this time. There will always be someone to stalk on Facebook, someone to follow on Twitter. There will always be the thrill of the challenge to cram as much as possible in the last minute. This thrill will always be too tempting for you to overpower.
You will start praying frantically as the results are due. These prayers will generally be answered. Although, if you had maybe failed in a couple of subjects, this cycle would have been broken. But alas! The results are here. You passed. You scored less than you expected, but that's alright. That isn't so bad. This is when you start forgetting the promise you had made to yourself during exams. Who needs sincerity, when you can manage just fine without being sincere?
You have been warned. It is not my job to make you feel better. It is my job to mess up your plans. It is my job to make matters worse. It is my job to add to your agony. I am not a sadist. I do not enjoy torturing you. It is just my job. In fact, it is my law.
Yours sincerely,
Murphy.
So it is that time of the year eh? That time of the year when you wish you had attended all lectures, paid attention during the ones you had attended, made notes and so on. Yes, well no use crying over curdled milk.
Let me tell you a few things. I have been there, done that. You will probably stay up and study all night. Consume copious amounts of coffee or tea. You will maybe sleep for an hour and wake up disgruntled and disoriented due to sleep deprivation. Chances are, they will ask questions in the exam, that you were sure won't come and hence hadn't studied for. You will come home, catch up on sleep, wake up when the day is almost over, waste some time and the cycle will continue till the end of exams.
But, you should consider this as well. If it is an important exam, you will leave your place early. But alas! If you have your own vehicle, you will be stuck in traffic. Pedestrians will jump in front of your vehicle and show their palms to you, inviting you to talk to their hand. You will have no choice but to stop and let them pass. Not to mention the signals. They will always be red. You might think you will make it to the turn before the light turns red, but that is an illusion. The signal will always be red when it is your turn. If you are having a particularly bad day, then the signal will turn red just when you are about to cross it. It will be worse if you are going to use public transport. The buses and trains will be so crowded that you will think that you will die due to asphyxiation. You will never find a rickshaw or a cab willing to take you to the examination hall. You will even forget stationery at home. You might even forget or lose your hall ticket if you are the Chosen One.
You won't do as well as you expect to in your exams obviously. You will make promises of being sincere in studies for the next round of exams. But the promise is as sincere as you were with your studies this time. There will always be someone to stalk on Facebook, someone to follow on Twitter. There will always be the thrill of the challenge to cram as much as possible in the last minute. This thrill will always be too tempting for you to overpower.
You will start praying frantically as the results are due. These prayers will generally be answered. Although, if you had maybe failed in a couple of subjects, this cycle would have been broken. But alas! The results are here. You passed. You scored less than you expected, but that's alright. That isn't so bad. This is when you start forgetting the promise you had made to yourself during exams. Who needs sincerity, when you can manage just fine without being sincere?
You have been warned. It is not my job to make you feel better. It is my job to mess up your plans. It is my job to make matters worse. It is my job to add to your agony. I am not a sadist. I do not enjoy torturing you. It is just my job. In fact, it is my law.
Yours sincerely,
Murphy.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Being atheist
So. You are an atheist eh? Do you claim this in front of your parents as well or only your peers?
Food for thought? Courtesy: Very Demotivational Posters
Which one of the following lines do you agree with?
1. I don’t believe in religion.
2. I don’t know if God exists.
3. I don’t care if God exists.
4. I don’t believe in God.
You are an atheist only if your answer was 4.
If you don’t believe in religion, you are just not religious. If you don’t know or don’t care if God exists, then you are agnostic. There is a huge difference between saying, ‘I don’t care if God exists, I don’t believe in him’ and saying, ‘I don’t believe in God.’
In recent years , the number of people claiming to be atheists has risen. The reasons remain dubious though. How many of them are truly atheists? Your guess is as good as mine.
When youngsters claim to be atheists, their parents try to discourage them, send them on guilt trips, force them to attend religious events ( I know a friend who was forced to chant verses from the Gita in his missionary school when he told his parents he wasn’t a believer.) and if all this fails, then they dismiss it as a rebellious phase.
Being an atheist is not a walk in the park. For one, people don’t take you seriously if you are young. If God forbid (pun intended), you are taken seriously, then you have to face disapproval from all sides. Parents, people and general society. They treat you with a condescending attitude and say ‘May God bless you’ to you whenever you meet. Not to mention feeling like an outcast during each and every religious festival.
I almost agree with this line I came across on Facebook : ” Being an atheist today, is like being homosexual in the 1980s”.
But this is just the others’ reaction. What about you yourself? Can you accept the fact that there is no superior being watching over you? Can you live with the fact that there will be no Judgement Day? No Big Brother to right all wrongs? No 72 virgins waiting for you? People like the idea of faith. They need something or someone to believe in. To depend on. God is the most common object of dependence for people. Here is an excerpt from a Mitch Albom book which I read recently.
The rabbi is talking about his doctor, who was an atheist.
“I had a doctor once who was an atheist.”
“This doctor, he liked to jab me and my beliefs…(irrelevant stuff).”
“Anyhow, one day, I read in the paper that his brother had died. So I made a condolence call.”
“So I go to his house, and he sees me. I can tell he is upset. I tell him I am sorry for his loss. And he says , with an angry face, ‘I envy you’.
‘Why do you envy me?’, I asked.”
“‘Because when you lose someone you love, you can curse God. You can yell. You can blame him. You can demand to know why. But I don’t believe in God. I’m a doctor! and I couldn’t help my brother!’.”
“He was near tears. ‘ Who do I blame?’ he kept asking me. ‘There is no God. I can only blame myself.’ ”
This is worse than an unanswered prayer. It is far more comforting to think God listened and said no than to think that nobody’s out there.
Because of religious warfare, people have started renouncing God instead of renouncing religion. God might not be a creation of religion. Religion might have been created to define God. There again is the difference.
I think people cannot be trusted to do the right thing. That is why we don’t have anarchy. People don’t understand the concept of live and LET LIVE. That is why we have religion. I think religion was invented with the aim of guiding the people to understand the difference between right and wrong through the medium of God who is portrayed as an omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent being. Earlier people feared Him and did what was said in the scriptures. Now the purpose of religion has changed. It’s interpretation has changed. It has become a factor of your identity. It has become a cause of war. To top it all, science came in to put God’s existence in doubt.
But you know what this means? It means the people who introduced the concept of religion were the original atheists. Ironic eh?
P.S.: I just wished they’d had some foresight.
Food for thought? Courtesy: Very Demotivational Posters
Which one of the following lines do you agree with?
1. I don’t believe in religion.
2. I don’t know if God exists.
3. I don’t care if God exists.
4. I don’t believe in God.
You are an atheist only if your answer was 4.
If you don’t believe in religion, you are just not religious. If you don’t know or don’t care if God exists, then you are agnostic. There is a huge difference between saying, ‘I don’t care if God exists, I don’t believe in him’ and saying, ‘I don’t believe in God.’
In recent years , the number of people claiming to be atheists has risen. The reasons remain dubious though. How many of them are truly atheists? Your guess is as good as mine.
When youngsters claim to be atheists, their parents try to discourage them, send them on guilt trips, force them to attend religious events ( I know a friend who was forced to chant verses from the Gita in his missionary school when he told his parents he wasn’t a believer.) and if all this fails, then they dismiss it as a rebellious phase.
Being an atheist is not a walk in the park. For one, people don’t take you seriously if you are young. If God forbid (pun intended), you are taken seriously, then you have to face disapproval from all sides. Parents, people and general society. They treat you with a condescending attitude and say ‘May God bless you’ to you whenever you meet. Not to mention feeling like an outcast during each and every religious festival.
I almost agree with this line I came across on Facebook : ” Being an atheist today, is like being homosexual in the 1980s”.
But this is just the others’ reaction. What about you yourself? Can you accept the fact that there is no superior being watching over you? Can you live with the fact that there will be no Judgement Day? No Big Brother to right all wrongs? No 72 virgins waiting for you? People like the idea of faith. They need something or someone to believe in. To depend on. God is the most common object of dependence for people. Here is an excerpt from a Mitch Albom book which I read recently.
The rabbi is talking about his doctor, who was an atheist.
“I had a doctor once who was an atheist.”
“This doctor, he liked to jab me and my beliefs…(irrelevant stuff).”
“Anyhow, one day, I read in the paper that his brother had died. So I made a condolence call.”
“So I go to his house, and he sees me. I can tell he is upset. I tell him I am sorry for his loss. And he says , with an angry face, ‘I envy you’.
‘Why do you envy me?’, I asked.”
“‘Because when you lose someone you love, you can curse God. You can yell. You can blame him. You can demand to know why. But I don’t believe in God. I’m a doctor! and I couldn’t help my brother!’.”
“He was near tears. ‘ Who do I blame?’ he kept asking me. ‘There is no God. I can only blame myself.’ ”
This is worse than an unanswered prayer. It is far more comforting to think God listened and said no than to think that nobody’s out there.
Because of religious warfare, people have started renouncing God instead of renouncing religion. God might not be a creation of religion. Religion might have been created to define God. There again is the difference.
I think people cannot be trusted to do the right thing. That is why we don’t have anarchy. People don’t understand the concept of live and LET LIVE. That is why we have religion. I think religion was invented with the aim of guiding the people to understand the difference between right and wrong through the medium of God who is portrayed as an omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent being. Earlier people feared Him and did what was said in the scriptures. Now the purpose of religion has changed. It’s interpretation has changed. It has become a factor of your identity. It has become a cause of war. To top it all, science came in to put God’s existence in doubt.
But you know what this means? It means the people who introduced the concept of religion were the original atheists. Ironic eh?
P.S.: I just wished they’d had some foresight.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
A leap of faith
I have been travelling for a month now. So this is one of the incidents that happened during one of these trips.
I found myself at this deserted bridge. I don't seem to recollect what brought me there. I had heard tales of people jumping off this bridge. Of people who chose to run away forever from their troubles than facing them. All in all it was a morbid place. Exactly like a place you wouldn't find me in.
But the reasons didn't matter. I found myself walking towards the centre of the bridge as if in a trance. The past didn't matter. The future didn't matter. Nothing mattered except the next few moments which would require me to be my bravest. I slowed down as I neared the edge of the bridge. I slowed down as much as I could. My footsteps started dragging. Even as I shuffled, the edge loomed nearer and nearer. And beyond the edge, the free fall. Each step brought me closer.
6 steps to go...
I felt my heartbeat increasing.
5 steps to go...
I never thought I had acrophobia. So, I had no explanations for the sudden vertigo.
4 steps to go...
I have no idea, why I felt as if I were walking to the gallows. I haven't commited any crime yet that would lead me there.
3 steps to go...
I think I started hearing voices in my head. Conflicting voices. Some questioning my sanity. Others encouraging me to take a leap of faith.
2 steps to go...
I never thought I would hear voices in my head and the fact that I would consider that the least of my worries. Then again, being a couple of steps away from the edge of a bridge changes your priorities.
1 step to go...
My feet falter. I didn't think I could do it. I turned around. Despising myself for being a wuss.
Suddenly, I saw my cousin waiting where I had been just 5 minutes back. All the 6 steps I described earlier took maybe 45 seconds. But life seems to slow down when you are about to make important life-changing decisions.
So coming back to my cousin. To say I was very surprised would be an understatement because he is supposed to be in Germany on his research internship till July. So, I couldn't for the life of me figure out, what he was doing on the bridge. Holding a pair of my nike sneakers. As I saw the logo, I remembered the nike tag line as if from another life. 'Just Do It.' My cousin worded what my shoes were telling me. 'Just Do It.'
I made the choice. With a huge smile on my face I turned around and took the last step decisively. I hurriedly leapt from the bridge. Hurriedly because I wanted to get to the part where I yelled Tom Petty's 'Free Falling', while bungee jumping. Hurriedly because as soon as I saw my cousin there, I realised in my dream that I was dreaming.
My dream of going bungee jumping and screaming 'Free Falling' is still a dream. Sigh.
I found myself at this deserted bridge. I don't seem to recollect what brought me there. I had heard tales of people jumping off this bridge. Of people who chose to run away forever from their troubles than facing them. All in all it was a morbid place. Exactly like a place you wouldn't find me in.
But the reasons didn't matter. I found myself walking towards the centre of the bridge as if in a trance. The past didn't matter. The future didn't matter. Nothing mattered except the next few moments which would require me to be my bravest. I slowed down as I neared the edge of the bridge. I slowed down as much as I could. My footsteps started dragging. Even as I shuffled, the edge loomed nearer and nearer. And beyond the edge, the free fall. Each step brought me closer.
6 steps to go...
I felt my heartbeat increasing.
5 steps to go...
I never thought I had acrophobia. So, I had no explanations for the sudden vertigo.
4 steps to go...
I have no idea, why I felt as if I were walking to the gallows. I haven't commited any crime yet that would lead me there.
3 steps to go...
I think I started hearing voices in my head. Conflicting voices. Some questioning my sanity. Others encouraging me to take a leap of faith.
2 steps to go...
I never thought I would hear voices in my head and the fact that I would consider that the least of my worries. Then again, being a couple of steps away from the edge of a bridge changes your priorities.
1 step to go...
My feet falter. I didn't think I could do it. I turned around. Despising myself for being a wuss.
Suddenly, I saw my cousin waiting where I had been just 5 minutes back. All the 6 steps I described earlier took maybe 45 seconds. But life seems to slow down when you are about to make important life-changing decisions.
So coming back to my cousin. To say I was very surprised would be an understatement because he is supposed to be in Germany on his research internship till July. So, I couldn't for the life of me figure out, what he was doing on the bridge. Holding a pair of my nike sneakers. As I saw the logo, I remembered the nike tag line as if from another life. 'Just Do It.' My cousin worded what my shoes were telling me. 'Just Do It.'
I made the choice. With a huge smile on my face I turned around and took the last step decisively. I hurriedly leapt from the bridge. Hurriedly because I wanted to get to the part where I yelled Tom Petty's 'Free Falling', while bungee jumping. Hurriedly because as soon as I saw my cousin there, I realised in my dream that I was dreaming.
My dream of going bungee jumping and screaming 'Free Falling' is still a dream. Sigh.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Of Dreams and Surprises
I find it very difficult to express my feelings by spoken words or even written words. So, you might have noticed, this blog mostly contains impersonal posts. But something happened yesterday. I just HAVE to blog about it. I turned 21. Big deal? HELL YES!
I never ever make plans for my birthday. I don't even celebrate them most of the time. Just go out with parents or something. Last year, I was working. Well, yesterday started the same way. I was asleep before it was midnight. My morning started with my dad's call waking me up. My birthday present - Nokia E71. Since, everyone feels charitable on their birthdays, I dropped my brother to his class. This was followed by lunch with my parents, aunt and cousin. My parents and aunt were going out in the evening, so I was supposed to have dinner with my brother and my cousin. This birthday was turning out to be bad. First, my girls at A D Bawla had their exams, so I couldn't visit them. Now, my parents were going out. Usually, at least, my family is around. On top of it, I even got sick. I couldn't meet my best friend, because she had her exams.One silver lining was my friend Priyanka's visit. We danced just like the old time. Soon, she also left, saying she had her mid sems and that her mother was expecting her home. My phone wasn't working and when my parents left, my aunt took my phone by mistake. I wanted to go to Dynasty for dinner, but my brother had his homework and by the time it was done, it was too late to go anywhere but McDonalds. I'd got a dress for myself for my college farewell and it got cancelled. So I decided to wear that dress and my slutty 4-inch heels to McDonalds. To hell with the fashion police.
When I got ready, the doorbell rang and I see my three best friends in college standing there. Abhishika, Shweta and Rajeshree and Abhishika's brother Aditya. Abhishika is the aforementioned best friend. They brought cake. They also got me a beautiful keychain for my guitar and 3 more dogs for my canine collection. I now have 9 dogs. They also got me a frame for my glasses, because the ones I currently wear have a broken frame and I have been meaning to get the frame changed. See, why I love them?
So, now suddenly my brother says he will complete his homework later. So, I realised he had been waiting for my friends to arrive. Already in a better mood, my mood improved when my cousin returned home with my cell. All of us and my neighbour Charlie left for McDonalds. When we reached the station, I called up Abhishika to ask where she had reached. She comes up with something lame like " hey, you go on towards McDonalds. Our rickshaw broke down and we can't find any other rickshaw. So we are walking. You go on ahead." On the way, I almost fell down the stairs. Typical clumsy me.
When we reached McDonalds, my brother and my cousin start acting weird. They kept insisting on a table inside. Right before I went inside, I saw this huge grin on my brother's face. At the door, I saw all my friends waiting for me. I was greeted with spiderman spray on my face, hair and dress. Before I could get my bearings, they started singing the birthday song. Yes, I don't know what to do when they sing Happy Birthday either, so I started looking around to see who had come. I saw my friends Rajeshree and Abhishika with other college friends : Akshat, Ankita, Gaurav, Sandy, Aniket, Rohan, Saideep, Dipesh, Abhishek. Madhura and Aditi came in later. I saw my school friends : Priyanka, Shreya, Maitri, Vritika, Geenisha and Ramesh. I saw my cousins: Siddhi and Harsh. Satish came with me and my other two cousins, Sagar and Siddharth came in later. I saw my friend Monil and my MAD friends : Ashish, Karthik, Tanmay, Pari, Ronak and Smriti.
This was beyond my wildest imaginations. Certainly beyond what I deserve. I didn't know what to do or what to say. I hugged each and every one of them and the party started! It had always been my dream to dance on top of the table. I did that yesterday. Twice. Forgot the first song, but the second time, I was accompanied by Priyanka for the Las Ketchup song. I wasn't drunk while doing that, so I remember and will always remember what I did. It had also been my dream to be with all my friends at one place at one time, some day. I hope you get the drift about the title now. What a combination of my favourite people and my favourite food! The best part was, everyone seemed to be enjoying. I didn't have to divide my attention between different sections. It was so cool. I got a shoe-shaped pendant and one more pendant, a huge box of chocolates, more chocolates, a mug to replace my broken Manchester United one, crazy nail paints for me to experiment. My school friends made placards which said something nice about me. These are already on the softboard on my desk. Here's what they said:
Priyanka: Hey amla, Hope you always get what you want in life. Right now it is to
become a great Pilot.
Shreya: I like you because you saw me without make up and you didn't scream.
Maitri: Sorry, couldn't write anything for you because it needs a brain and I'm like you, BRAINLESS. Advice: please park your bike at the right place.
Geenisha: My dear childhood friend, you have been with me since our Mahabaleshwar trip till our Hyderabad trip. It is amazing seeing you succeed so well in life and will soon see you flying in air!!!
Vritika: Dear Lani, never seen a crazier, funnier and sweeter person than you.
Dear Daryl, Simmi and Minesh Jiju : Thank you so much for the cards. I love cards and have carefully preserved every card that I have received till date.
PS: Minesh jiju, Liverpool still sucks donkey balls.
Dear Kunal, thank you so much for that letter. It means a LOT to me.
Dear Abhishika, thank you for everything. You are the best thing that has happened to me.
Dear Madhura, thanks for singing the song.
Dear anonymous sender, you crazy fellow! You sent me an original Scholes jersey and won't even accept my gratitude for it. If that's what you want, I won't pursue the subject though I think I have a very good idea who you are.
Every one, just thank you so much for making this the best day of my life so far. Who the hell needs booze to do crazy stuff, when you already have crazy people like these!
PS : I shall put up the photographs here too.
I never ever make plans for my birthday. I don't even celebrate them most of the time. Just go out with parents or something. Last year, I was working. Well, yesterday started the same way. I was asleep before it was midnight. My morning started with my dad's call waking me up. My birthday present - Nokia E71. Since, everyone feels charitable on their birthdays, I dropped my brother to his class. This was followed by lunch with my parents, aunt and cousin. My parents and aunt were going out in the evening, so I was supposed to have dinner with my brother and my cousin. This birthday was turning out to be bad. First, my girls at A D Bawla had their exams, so I couldn't visit them. Now, my parents were going out. Usually, at least, my family is around. On top of it, I even got sick. I couldn't meet my best friend, because she had her exams.One silver lining was my friend Priyanka's visit. We danced just like the old time. Soon, she also left, saying she had her mid sems and that her mother was expecting her home. My phone wasn't working and when my parents left, my aunt took my phone by mistake. I wanted to go to Dynasty for dinner, but my brother had his homework and by the time it was done, it was too late to go anywhere but McDonalds. I'd got a dress for myself for my college farewell and it got cancelled. So I decided to wear that dress and my slutty 4-inch heels to McDonalds. To hell with the fashion police.
When I got ready, the doorbell rang and I see my three best friends in college standing there. Abhishika, Shweta and Rajeshree and Abhishika's brother Aditya. Abhishika is the aforementioned best friend. They brought cake. They also got me a beautiful keychain for my guitar and 3 more dogs for my canine collection. I now have 9 dogs. They also got me a frame for my glasses, because the ones I currently wear have a broken frame and I have been meaning to get the frame changed. See, why I love them?
So, now suddenly my brother says he will complete his homework later. So, I realised he had been waiting for my friends to arrive. Already in a better mood, my mood improved when my cousin returned home with my cell. All of us and my neighbour Charlie left for McDonalds. When we reached the station, I called up Abhishika to ask where she had reached. She comes up with something lame like " hey, you go on towards McDonalds. Our rickshaw broke down and we can't find any other rickshaw. So we are walking. You go on ahead." On the way, I almost fell down the stairs. Typical clumsy me.
When we reached McDonalds, my brother and my cousin start acting weird. They kept insisting on a table inside. Right before I went inside, I saw this huge grin on my brother's face. At the door, I saw all my friends waiting for me. I was greeted with spiderman spray on my face, hair and dress. Before I could get my bearings, they started singing the birthday song. Yes, I don't know what to do when they sing Happy Birthday either, so I started looking around to see who had come. I saw my friends Rajeshree and Abhishika with other college friends : Akshat, Ankita, Gaurav, Sandy, Aniket, Rohan, Saideep, Dipesh, Abhishek. Madhura and Aditi came in later. I saw my school friends : Priyanka, Shreya, Maitri, Vritika, Geenisha and Ramesh. I saw my cousins: Siddhi and Harsh. Satish came with me and my other two cousins, Sagar and Siddharth came in later. I saw my friend Monil and my MAD friends : Ashish, Karthik, Tanmay, Pari, Ronak and Smriti.
This was beyond my wildest imaginations. Certainly beyond what I deserve. I didn't know what to do or what to say. I hugged each and every one of them and the party started! It had always been my dream to dance on top of the table. I did that yesterday. Twice. Forgot the first song, but the second time, I was accompanied by Priyanka for the Las Ketchup song. I wasn't drunk while doing that, so I remember and will always remember what I did. It had also been my dream to be with all my friends at one place at one time, some day. I hope you get the drift about the title now. What a combination of my favourite people and my favourite food! The best part was, everyone seemed to be enjoying. I didn't have to divide my attention between different sections. It was so cool. I got a shoe-shaped pendant and one more pendant, a huge box of chocolates, more chocolates, a mug to replace my broken Manchester United one, crazy nail paints for me to experiment. My school friends made placards which said something nice about me. These are already on the softboard on my desk. Here's what they said:
Priyanka: Hey amla, Hope you always get what you want in life. Right now it is to
become a great Pilot.
Shreya: I like you because you saw me without make up and you didn't scream.
Maitri: Sorry, couldn't write anything for you because it needs a brain and I'm like you, BRAINLESS. Advice: please park your bike at the right place.
Geenisha: My dear childhood friend, you have been with me since our Mahabaleshwar trip till our Hyderabad trip. It is amazing seeing you succeed so well in life and will soon see you flying in air!!!
Vritika: Dear Lani, never seen a crazier, funnier and sweeter person than you.
Dear Daryl, Simmi and Minesh Jiju : Thank you so much for the cards. I love cards and have carefully preserved every card that I have received till date.
PS: Minesh jiju, Liverpool still sucks donkey balls.
Dear Kunal, thank you so much for that letter. It means a LOT to me.
Dear Abhishika, thank you for everything. You are the best thing that has happened to me.
Dear Madhura, thanks for singing the song.
Dear anonymous sender, you crazy fellow! You sent me an original Scholes jersey and won't even accept my gratitude for it. If that's what you want, I won't pursue the subject though I think I have a very good idea who you are.
Every one, just thank you so much for making this the best day of my life so far. Who the hell needs booze to do crazy stuff, when you already have crazy people like these!
PS : I shall put up the photographs here too.
Monday, August 2, 2010
F*****ck
I'm sure you must have seen the new fastrack logo on the hoardings. My cousin recently pointed out to me that people around us swear so much. It is expected while driving or during fights, but these days, you have everyone is college saying 'fuck!' or going 'WTF' everytime they utter an exclamation. We also have the wannabes going ' What the eff' which sounds as if a pansy just uttered it in a shrill voice followed by a flick of his wrist. In fact the word 'fuck' is so common that a while back, I used to get an sms about the versatility of the word. It indicates disgust, surprise, anger, exasperation and so on. What happened to good ol' 'shit' or Stan-like 'Oh my God!'? Now even Oh my God has evolved into 'oh my fucking God'. There was even a controversy back in 2001 when French Connection started labelling their products as fcuk. So much noise just because fcuk looked like fuck. So I wonder what the controversy creating hippies might be thinking right now, or if they are dead, would it be amusing to watch them somersaulting in their graves. Incidentally the word 'somersault' has french connections. Just saying.
A few posts back , I had mentioned that I'm a stickler for grammar and spellings. So while I was trying to blame it all on Wikipedia for teaching people how to swear in WikiHow, I noticed that fastrack was spelt as I spelt it 7 words back. Shouldn't it be fasttrack? Like Thumbs-up and not Thums-Up?
So, yesterday night I was thinking about this because I met my aforementioned cousin yesterday too. I remembered a crap song from a crap movie called 'Bride and Prejudice'. Yeah, these things happen to me. The song goes 'NO life, without wife, oh yeah yeah yeah..'. Somewhere in the middle, Aishwariya mentions why she had to settle for Abhishek Bachchan as a husband. She goes something like 'I want a husband who looks at me and not my rack' and her actions while singing that particular line made me look up the word 'rack'. I looked up the word on Urban Dictionary today too just to confirm that I have an awesome memeory.
Anyway when I typed 'rack', heres what Urban had to say:
1. rack 1426 up, 103 down
set of breasts
She has a nice rack
by Ben Nov 29, 2001 share this
2. rack 727 up, 117 down
a rather large set of boobs that are fun to stare at.
Dude, i can just sit here and stare at her nice rack all day
by superbuddy Apr 10, 2003 share this
3. rack 505 up, 72 down
slang term for a rather larger pair of woman's breasts that men usually stare at
Wow, look at her, she's got a nice rack!
by Cockaloockle Mar 17, 2005 share this
Ummmm...I wonder if the namekeepers at Titan fastrack did that on purpose. French Connection did it. So why not Fastrack, which on its official site is described as : "Fastrack as a brand has always been restless like the swearing youth it caters to". Ok I added the swearing part. But I am appalled at their lack of slang knowledge.
Also, here's something totally unrelated.
I watched that ad where Kareena strips in an office so that her clothes match the laptop in her hand which changes colours like a traffic signal. First people wanted the trendiest clothes, then trendiest shoes, trendiest accessories, trendiest phones, trendiest scooties and now trendiest laptops. Why don't they want trendiest umbrellas? They would make a nice fashion statement, in my opinon as always. Imagine, a yellow umbrella to go with my yellow belt, or an umbrella with nice polka dots to go with my dress, or an umbrella with a whistle for my driver. The possibilities are endless.
A few posts back , I had mentioned that I'm a stickler for grammar and spellings. So while I was trying to blame it all on Wikipedia for teaching people how to swear in WikiHow, I noticed that fastrack was spelt as I spelt it 7 words back. Shouldn't it be fasttrack? Like Thumbs-up and not Thums-Up?
So, yesterday night I was thinking about this because I met my aforementioned cousin yesterday too. I remembered a crap song from a crap movie called 'Bride and Prejudice'. Yeah, these things happen to me. The song goes 'NO life, without wife, oh yeah yeah yeah..'. Somewhere in the middle, Aishwariya mentions why she had to settle for Abhishek Bachchan as a husband. She goes something like 'I want a husband who looks at me and not my rack' and her actions while singing that particular line made me look up the word 'rack'. I looked up the word on Urban Dictionary today too just to confirm that I have an awesome memeory.
Anyway when I typed 'rack', heres what Urban had to say:
1. rack 1426 up, 103 down
set of breasts
She has a nice rack
by Ben Nov 29, 2001 share this
2. rack 727 up, 117 down
a rather large set of boobs that are fun to stare at.
Dude, i can just sit here and stare at her nice rack all day
by superbuddy Apr 10, 2003 share this
3. rack 505 up, 72 down
slang term for a rather larger pair of woman's breasts that men usually stare at
Wow, look at her, she's got a nice rack!
by Cockaloockle Mar 17, 2005 share this
Ummmm...I wonder if the namekeepers at Titan fastrack did that on purpose. French Connection did it. So why not Fastrack, which on its official site is described as : "Fastrack as a brand has always been restless like the swearing youth it caters to". Ok I added the swearing part. But I am appalled at their lack of slang knowledge.
Also, here's something totally unrelated.
I watched that ad where Kareena strips in an office so that her clothes match the laptop in her hand which changes colours like a traffic signal. First people wanted the trendiest clothes, then trendiest shoes, trendiest accessories, trendiest phones, trendiest scooties and now trendiest laptops. Why don't they want trendiest umbrellas? They would make a nice fashion statement, in my opinon as always. Imagine, a yellow umbrella to go with my yellow belt, or an umbrella with nice polka dots to go with my dress, or an umbrella with a whistle for my driver. The possibilities are endless.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Observations - Part 2
Sometimes when I have nothing better to do, I go and watch the most pathetic movies out at the time. So, I have watched Tashan, Pyar Impossible, Drona, Love Story 2050 and all post-Yess Boss SRK movies. Needless to say, I really appeciate good movies now.
Back to the title, on one such I-had-nothing-to-do boring day, I accompanied a couple of my friends to watch Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi...
10 minutes into the movie had me thinking that I should really find work. I started observing other more interestig things around me like the amount of time it took for the air-conditioner flap to swing in my direction again and whether the person sitting behind me was picking his nose according to the movement of the actors on the screen.
During an emotional dialogue between Shah Rukh and Vinay Pathak, I realised there was another emotional dialogue going on in the row ahead of mine. I could here 2 voices speaking. Here's the gist of the conversation I shamelessly overheard.
Shrill voice: Oh Bother! This is such a waste of time and money.
*I nodded vigourously at this*
2nd Can't-place-it's-tone voice: Yes. Such a waste.
*I nodded vigourously again*
2nd Can't-place-it's-tone voice: At least you have a rich dad.*sighs* The money won't be a problem with you.
*I DIDN'T sigh*
Shrill voice: Now where did that come from? Money is money. Just because you have it doesn't mean you have to waste it. In fact, I value it more, because it's not mine.
2nd Can't-place-it's-tone voice: huh?
3rd Voice: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
2nd Can't-place-it's-tone voice: Don't you use that shrill tone with me! Just because you have a rich father does not mean you are queen Victoria..
4th Voice: Actually it is queen Elizabeth II now....
2nd Can't-place-it's-tone voice: Everytime you do this. You look down on the rest of us mortals. I am sick of it!
Shrill voice: Hey, are you on medication or something? What is wrong with you? Where did that come from?
2nd Can't-place-it's-tone voice: You are always showing off. New bag, new watch, new shoes! So, you come from a rich family. BIG DEAL!
3rd Voice: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Shrill voice: That's not fair. I never show off. I just reply when I am asked if it is a new watch or a shoe or bag. It is my bloody choice. If I want a new bag, I won't not buy it just because it hurts your delicate ego. And I have had it with your ' your dad is rich' monotone. You say it as if it is something dirty. My dad worked hard all his life. If he has made money, he deserves it. It's not as if he won it in a lottery or stole it from someone. And why shouldn't I use the money? He made the money to use it. Not store it in a vault. It's not as if I am burning it. Control your resentment and jealousy. It's not a sin to have money.
2nd Can't-place-it's-tone voice: Shown your true colours haven't you? I knew it! I knew you were a snob. *Storms out*
Shrilll voice: Now this is ridiculous. *Storms out too*
4th Voice: He must have broken up with his girlfriend recently.
I went back to the boring movie.
By the way, you just assumed they were 2 girls fighting right? Come on now, be honest. And it is ok to overhear conversations which are unavoidable. It's not as if you are going to blackmail the speakers with what you overheard. Also, such conversations make you think. Shrill voice had a point. Many such people are made out to be jerks because of other bitter and jealous people.
Back to the title, on one such I-had-nothing-to-do boring day, I accompanied a couple of my friends to watch Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi...
10 minutes into the movie had me thinking that I should really find work. I started observing other more interestig things around me like the amount of time it took for the air-conditioner flap to swing in my direction again and whether the person sitting behind me was picking his nose according to the movement of the actors on the screen.
During an emotional dialogue between Shah Rukh and Vinay Pathak, I realised there was another emotional dialogue going on in the row ahead of mine. I could here 2 voices speaking. Here's the gist of the conversation I shamelessly overheard.
Shrill voice: Oh Bother! This is such a waste of time and money.
*I nodded vigourously at this*
2nd Can't-place-it's-tone voice: Yes. Such a waste.
*I nodded vigourously again*
2nd Can't-place-it's-tone voice: At least you have a rich dad.*sighs* The money won't be a problem with you.
*I DIDN'T sigh*
Shrill voice: Now where did that come from? Money is money. Just because you have it doesn't mean you have to waste it. In fact, I value it more, because it's not mine.
2nd Can't-place-it's-tone voice: huh?
3rd Voice: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
2nd Can't-place-it's-tone voice: Don't you use that shrill tone with me! Just because you have a rich father does not mean you are queen Victoria..
4th Voice: Actually it is queen Elizabeth II now....
2nd Can't-place-it's-tone voice: Everytime you do this. You look down on the rest of us mortals. I am sick of it!
Shrill voice: Hey, are you on medication or something? What is wrong with you? Where did that come from?
2nd Can't-place-it's-tone voice: You are always showing off. New bag, new watch, new shoes! So, you come from a rich family. BIG DEAL!
3rd Voice: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Shrill voice: That's not fair. I never show off. I just reply when I am asked if it is a new watch or a shoe or bag. It is my bloody choice. If I want a new bag, I won't not buy it just because it hurts your delicate ego. And I have had it with your ' your dad is rich' monotone. You say it as if it is something dirty. My dad worked hard all his life. If he has made money, he deserves it. It's not as if he won it in a lottery or stole it from someone. And why shouldn't I use the money? He made the money to use it. Not store it in a vault. It's not as if I am burning it. Control your resentment and jealousy. It's not a sin to have money.
2nd Can't-place-it's-tone voice: Shown your true colours haven't you? I knew it! I knew you were a snob. *Storms out*
Shrilll voice: Now this is ridiculous. *Storms out too*
4th Voice: He must have broken up with his girlfriend recently.
I went back to the boring movie.
By the way, you just assumed they were 2 girls fighting right? Come on now, be honest. And it is ok to overhear conversations which are unavoidable. It's not as if you are going to blackmail the speakers with what you overheard. Also, such conversations make you think. Shrill voice had a point. Many such people are made out to be jerks because of other bitter and jealous people.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
When a friend dies.....
Note: Hey, if you are expecting the usual sarcastic nonsense, please skip this one. It is neither sarcastic nor nonsensical , though it may appear nonsensical to you.
This one is personal.
When your friend dies....
Your first reaction is disbelief which stays on in varying degrees of intensity.
Then comes the anger and the frustration. Why was the friend taken from you? Was it somehow your fault? Could you have stopped it from happening? The disbelief is still there of course, which makes you ask these questions in the first place.
You keep calling the friend on their cell. Of course, the friend doesn't answer.
You wonder, if perhaps the friend is angry at you.
You check his social networking profiles.
Nothing has changed much there.
Disbelief is waning. Fear sets in. Maybe the friend is really not coming back. Ever.
You try calling and messaging again with as much success as your previous try.
The fear is overwhelming now.
You replay the memories. Disbelief intensifies.
How can it stop this way?
No explanations.
No chance for a farewell.
You lose the dolphin around your neck. The dolphin, which was the symbol of your friendship. The dolphin you wore around your neck for 3 years.
This confirms it more than the death certificate of the friend.
WIth this finality, you start accepting it.
Now, comes the big task of moving on. Cherising the memories and moving on.
Moving on...............
The first thing you do, in the process of moving on is BLOG about it!!
Moving on..
Right.
Who am I kidding?
PS: Steve Irwin said, it was ok to cry. But when the tears stop, you start moving on. But how to you start moving on, when the tears don't come at all?
This one is personal.
When your friend dies....
Your first reaction is disbelief which stays on in varying degrees of intensity.
Then comes the anger and the frustration. Why was the friend taken from you? Was it somehow your fault? Could you have stopped it from happening? The disbelief is still there of course, which makes you ask these questions in the first place.
You keep calling the friend on their cell. Of course, the friend doesn't answer.
You wonder, if perhaps the friend is angry at you.
You check his social networking profiles.
Nothing has changed much there.
Disbelief is waning. Fear sets in. Maybe the friend is really not coming back. Ever.
You try calling and messaging again with as much success as your previous try.
The fear is overwhelming now.
You replay the memories. Disbelief intensifies.
How can it stop this way?
No explanations.
No chance for a farewell.
You lose the dolphin around your neck. The dolphin, which was the symbol of your friendship. The dolphin you wore around your neck for 3 years.
This confirms it more than the death certificate of the friend.
WIth this finality, you start accepting it.
Now, comes the big task of moving on. Cherising the memories and moving on.
Moving on...............
The first thing you do, in the process of moving on is BLOG about it!!
Moving on..
Right.
Who am I kidding?
PS: Steve Irwin said, it was ok to cry. But when the tears stop, you start moving on. But how to you start moving on, when the tears don't come at all?
Monday, March 29, 2010
Global Shaving v/s Global Warming
Note: The following post has been written in a phase of extreme boredom and this idea appears brilliant to me right now. I don't know if it will remain so in my sane moments.
Will lead to....
Summer is here. Already. No late winter like late monsoon. Sigh. Also, if it is so hot in March itself, I shudder to think how how it will be in May. I shudder more at the thought of writing exams for three hours in the aforementioned hot May. I shudder even more at the thought of writing my last paper which is totally theory in the aforementioned hot May for the aforementioned three hours. And to make matters worse, my hair is such that it doesn't matter if I tie up or let it lose. Tresses always escape from my ponytail or bun or whatever other shape I have used to tame my hair. And pins give me a terrible headache. So, lets not even go there. So, my hair turns into a huge pain in the ass during summers. This time I am so fed up, I am considering to go bald like someone who did go bald for the same reason.
I asked a couple of my friends if it would be too mental or I would be hailed as a trendsetter of my generation. I don't give a hoot either way. But the common reaction was that men find it alarming when women start going bald. Take Shabana Azmi or Demi Moore, while their dedication to their roles was appreciated, they did look a bit alarming. So, judging by their reacton, I just went on a fantasizing spree.
Imagine, girls and women all over started going bald after being fed up of the heat. It would be an alarming site, ne c'est pas? After all, hair is the second most distinctive feature of females. The first one is irrelevant here, so has been duly ignored. We could use this to start a movement to combat Global Warming.
We can put up slogan's like
"If you like your women with hair, stop global warming NOW."
"*Next to a picture of a bald woman* Your wife/daughter/sister/girlfriend could be next"
"No more fiesty redheads unless you do something about the fiery heat"
"You need to beat the heat to stop globalding"
"No more blonde jokes everyone loves because there will be no more blondes. Save the blondes to inspire your sense of humour. All you have to do is stop global warming"
"We bet you didn't mean this when you said you like women who shave "
Ok. I think I will stop now. All this heat must have gone to my head. But think about it. What would you want? Globalding or Global warming?
Will lead to....
Summer is here. Already. No late winter like late monsoon. Sigh. Also, if it is so hot in March itself, I shudder to think how how it will be in May. I shudder more at the thought of writing exams for three hours in the aforementioned hot May. I shudder even more at the thought of writing my last paper which is totally theory in the aforementioned hot May for the aforementioned three hours. And to make matters worse, my hair is such that it doesn't matter if I tie up or let it lose. Tresses always escape from my ponytail or bun or whatever other shape I have used to tame my hair. And pins give me a terrible headache. So, lets not even go there. So, my hair turns into a huge pain in the ass during summers. This time I am so fed up, I am considering to go bald like someone who did go bald for the same reason.
I asked a couple of my friends if it would be too mental or I would be hailed as a trendsetter of my generation. I don't give a hoot either way. But the common reaction was that men find it alarming when women start going bald. Take Shabana Azmi or Demi Moore, while their dedication to their roles was appreciated, they did look a bit alarming. So, judging by their reacton, I just went on a fantasizing spree.
Imagine, girls and women all over started going bald after being fed up of the heat. It would be an alarming site, ne c'est pas? After all, hair is the second most distinctive feature of females. The first one is irrelevant here, so has been duly ignored. We could use this to start a movement to combat Global Warming.
We can put up slogan's like
"If you like your women with hair, stop global warming NOW."
"*Next to a picture of a bald woman* Your wife/daughter/sister/girlfriend could be next"
"No more fiesty redheads unless you do something about the fiery heat"
"You need to beat the heat to stop globalding"
"No more blonde jokes everyone loves because there will be no more blondes. Save the blondes to inspire your sense of humour. All you have to do is stop global warming"
"We bet you didn't mean this when you said you like women who shave "
Ok. I think I will stop now. All this heat must have gone to my head. But think about it. What would you want? Globalding or Global warming?
Monday, February 22, 2010
Stereotyped..
This is the story of a girl who hated being stereotyped and who was stereotyped at every attempt she made at being different:
When she was born, she was exposed to all the things a girl might like. Pink, dolls, miniature kitchen sets.. She liked them all. She developed a liking for reading, so was introduced to fairy tales. They said, " She's a typical girl".
She grew up, became an older sibling when she was 4. She started noticing her brother's toys. Was fascinated with cars, bats, balls. She started getting bored with all the pots and pans. Cycling was the thing. Outdoors beckoned. Her likes followed her to school. She hated shopping and preferred to watch sports. They labelled her a 'typical tomboy'.
She reached her teenage. She insisted on wearing comfortable clothes instead of the ones in vogue at that time. She defended equal rights for both genders. Took offense whenever someone dismissed others' driving skills as ' like a typical woman's '. She refused to follow the set conventions for women. They said " Ahh, another feminist " when she remained headstrong and fiercely independent.
She is now at the verge of leaving her teenage years behind. She still loves pink. Still likes fairy tales and still hates shopping, and gossiping. Still enjoys sports more. She still believes in gender equality, still fiercely independent. She doesn't like being pampered. Hates flowers and chocolate. She prefers to pay the bill. Doesn't like to alter her appearance according to what people tell her. Yes, she has now become a typical Alpha-Woman.
Even in the desire to be different from everyone else, she is no different from the rest.
Moral of the story : No matter what you do, you will be stereotyped, because people like to define things. They fear what they don't understand. They try to make it an outcast. They would rather create new categories for defining things that don't come under the predefined categories than accepting them as different.
When she was born, she was exposed to all the things a girl might like. Pink, dolls, miniature kitchen sets.. She liked them all. She developed a liking for reading, so was introduced to fairy tales. They said, " She's a typical girl".
She grew up, became an older sibling when she was 4. She started noticing her brother's toys. Was fascinated with cars, bats, balls. She started getting bored with all the pots and pans. Cycling was the thing. Outdoors beckoned. Her likes followed her to school. She hated shopping and preferred to watch sports. They labelled her a 'typical tomboy'.
She reached her teenage. She insisted on wearing comfortable clothes instead of the ones in vogue at that time. She defended equal rights for both genders. Took offense whenever someone dismissed others' driving skills as ' like a typical woman's '. She refused to follow the set conventions for women. They said " Ahh, another feminist " when she remained headstrong and fiercely independent.
She is now at the verge of leaving her teenage years behind. She still loves pink. Still likes fairy tales and still hates shopping, and gossiping. Still enjoys sports more. She still believes in gender equality, still fiercely independent. She doesn't like being pampered. Hates flowers and chocolate. She prefers to pay the bill. Doesn't like to alter her appearance according to what people tell her. Yes, she has now become a typical Alpha-Woman.
Even in the desire to be different from everyone else, she is no different from the rest.
Moral of the story : No matter what you do, you will be stereotyped, because people like to define things. They fear what they don't understand. They try to make it an outcast. They would rather create new categories for defining things that don't come under the predefined categories than accepting them as different.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
The Lesser Catastrophe
Those of you, who know me personally might have discovered that I am quite a spelling and a grammar nazi. So much that I feel like screaming my guts out when someone uses a verb in the past tense after "did" or "didn't". Considering I am not much of a screamer, I think I have OCD.
My brother's English paper read "comprehension, grammEr and writing skills"!! And then since the 1st standard I guess, we have been taught that the plural of hair is hair and not hairs. Wren and Martin say the same. Then they also go on to advise that 'grey hairs should be respected.' Same is the case with fish and deer. While, I don't hear deers often, I hear about fishes everywhere. I even read about different types of fishes in my Biology textbook. Oh, but childrens, that is not why I am writing this post.
Today I would like to single out my wrath on 'lesser'. Quite how the trend started to use the word, I don't know. But my Readers' Digest Dictionary says 'lesser' doesn't exist. Urban Dictionary is of the same opinion. When less itself is a comparative degree of little, ( little > less > least ), where does lesser come from? Choose the lesser of the two evils, Children of a lesser God, your marks are even lesser than the previous test. It gets on my nerves so much! I had to endure it during my HSC classes.
Bah, I am not a snob nor do I want to give the impression that I am one. But this is just the way I feel. I mean some people feel the same, when they see a mess around them. They can't stand it and they go about cleaning it. If I point out the mistakes, the most common reaction is 'Haan, Haan , we know you know better English than us. Please spare us the tutorial' What's a poor nazi to do?
Ok. Rant over. Next time maybe I will go on to direct my wrath to 'anyways'. But not now.
On an unrelated note,
Layman's view :
Roger Federer rules.
Manchester United rules.
Sachin Tendulkar rules.
Expert Opinion :
After comparing the statistics for the past few years, we have to admit that Federer maybe one of the greatest tennis players of all time. In other words, Federer rules.
Rule, rule United; Glory Glory Man Utd; In other words Man Utd rules. (biased but a true opinion)
Sachin is probably the greatest player of all time. On field and off it too. Sachin rules. Duh.
Why be an expert when you know all the important truths of life? Ok another truth is that I have exams from Monday. Got to study. Bye!
My brother's English paper read "comprehension, grammEr and writing skills"!! And then since the 1st standard I guess, we have been taught that the plural of hair is hair and not hairs. Wren and Martin say the same. Then they also go on to advise that 'grey hairs should be respected.' Same is the case with fish and deer. While, I don't hear deers often, I hear about fishes everywhere. I even read about different types of fishes in my Biology textbook. Oh, but childrens, that is not why I am writing this post.
Today I would like to single out my wrath on 'lesser'. Quite how the trend started to use the word, I don't know. But my Readers' Digest Dictionary says 'lesser' doesn't exist. Urban Dictionary is of the same opinion. When less itself is a comparative degree of little, ( little > less > least ), where does lesser come from? Choose the lesser of the two evils, Children of a lesser God, your marks are even lesser than the previous test. It gets on my nerves so much! I had to endure it during my HSC classes.
Bah, I am not a snob nor do I want to give the impression that I am one. But this is just the way I feel. I mean some people feel the same, when they see a mess around them. They can't stand it and they go about cleaning it. If I point out the mistakes, the most common reaction is 'Haan, Haan , we know you know better English than us. Please spare us the tutorial' What's a poor nazi to do?
Ok. Rant over. Next time maybe I will go on to direct my wrath to 'anyways'. But not now.
On an unrelated note,
Layman's view :
Roger Federer rules.
Manchester United rules.
Sachin Tendulkar rules.
Expert Opinion :
After comparing the statistics for the past few years, we have to admit that Federer maybe one of the greatest tennis players of all time. In other words, Federer rules.
Rule, rule United; Glory Glory Man Utd; In other words Man Utd rules. (biased but a true opinion)
Sachin is probably the greatest player of all time. On field and off it too. Sachin rules. Duh.
Why be an expert when you know all the important truths of life? Ok another truth is that I have exams from Monday. Got to study. Bye!
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Observations - Part I
People say your blogging activity is inversely proportional to your social life. Not true. My recent hiatus in context of blog updates does not indicate my social life suddenly became more prominent. My social is the same as before , which is, exactly the way I want it to be. It just means I was too bored/lazy to update. Coming back to the post.
I like wandering and going to arbit places. Also, I prefer going to the aforementioned arbit places au pied. So I have observed this particular thing for quite a long time now. Whenever I come across a car whose number plate begins with MH 04, the vehicle in question is always physically damamged. And its not just true for 90% of them, all vehicles having the number plate beginning with MH 04 , that i have come across, are damamged in some way or the other, without exception. Be it a little dent on the bumper, or cracked mirror or missing parking lights.
The other day, I was waiting at the bus stop with my friend. We saw a Tata Nano, probably on its maiden journey considering all the plastic covers on the upholstery. But even then, there was a wide scratch on it in the corner of the bumper! New car already scratched. MH 04 licence plate.
The 04 in the number plate means the owner of the car lives in or near Thane. So what does this mean? That all the drivers living in Thane are rash ? Or is something wrong with their driving schools? If you are an offended Thane resident after reading this post, please, before taking offense, check your vehicle or your neighbours and you will find it damaged in some way.
PS: This can true for other number plates too, but I have observed this fact in MH 04 number plates only, without exception yet. And this is just my observation that I am stating in my post.
I like wandering and going to arbit places. Also, I prefer going to the aforementioned arbit places au pied. So I have observed this particular thing for quite a long time now. Whenever I come across a car whose number plate begins with MH 04, the vehicle in question is always physically damamged. And its not just true for 90% of them, all vehicles having the number plate beginning with MH 04 , that i have come across, are damamged in some way or the other, without exception. Be it a little dent on the bumper, or cracked mirror or missing parking lights.
The other day, I was waiting at the bus stop with my friend. We saw a Tata Nano, probably on its maiden journey considering all the plastic covers on the upholstery. But even then, there was a wide scratch on it in the corner of the bumper! New car already scratched. MH 04 licence plate.
The 04 in the number plate means the owner of the car lives in or near Thane. So what does this mean? That all the drivers living in Thane are rash ? Or is something wrong with their driving schools? If you are an offended Thane resident after reading this post, please, before taking offense, check your vehicle or your neighbours and you will find it damaged in some way.
PS: This can true for other number plates too, but I have observed this fact in MH 04 number plates only, without exception yet. And this is just my observation that I am stating in my post.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
The Secret Behind The Secret
OK, so it's been a long time. Again. So this post has some spoilers about the book ' The Secret'. So , don't scroll down if you are planning to read the book or planning to cuss at me for spoiling the surprise or whatever.
I read the book ' the secret ' sometime back. And of course I thought about it a lot. Eventually I came up with sort of a theory about it. Also, this is just my own conclusion and does not imply that it is true. I'll write as if it is true nonetheless.
According to the book, there is an attractive force in the universe and we attract all the things that are dominant in our head. If we are happy, we attract more happiness, if we are frustrated, we attract more frustration and boredom invites more boredom. Also there is another book called ' the power of your subconscious mind', which says that whatever you convince your subconscious mind about, your subconscious mind makes it happen. It doesn't consider, whether it is right or wrong, true or false. Someone even said, ' Whether you think you are good or bad, you are right'. So I wonder if the secret was written so as to make people think positively, by trying to convince us , that there is a force in the universe which grants all our wishes. Now, according to the theory of the subconscious mind, this will be true, if we believe it without a doubt.
For example, consider any day. Just like the previous day, you wake up and get ready to start your usual day. Now while you go about it, you get an unexpected call from your dear friend who has moved away or something. This makes a normal person quite happy, so assume that you become happy. Then you go about your day in a better mood. Suppose you decide to go out. Outside, you have to cross the road, you almost get hit by a car. Thinking today is lucky, you think you were almost killed and because of your lucky day, you were saved.
You don't pause to consider that you don't get almost killed by vehicles everyday. You look at the incident in a positive way. So, you think all the good things are happening to you because, today is your lucky day or that you are attracting happiness. It's all in the attitude.
Also, I think the same principle was used in religion. Those who believe in it without a doubt, have no issues about the existence of God. But those, who doubt, will find many loopholes, because its all in the mind. I think that is what gave rise to superstitions too. Even today. The film stars, the sportsmen, Ekta Kapoor. All the weird numerology, tarot. It all works because you convince your subconscious it is true.
I think I am done with my rant. My bottom line is that 'it's all in the mind'. You cannot do something only if you convince yourself beyond doubt that you cannot do it. OK. I am done now. Finally.
I read the book ' the secret ' sometime back. And of course I thought about it a lot. Eventually I came up with sort of a theory about it. Also, this is just my own conclusion and does not imply that it is true. I'll write as if it is true nonetheless.
According to the book, there is an attractive force in the universe and we attract all the things that are dominant in our head. If we are happy, we attract more happiness, if we are frustrated, we attract more frustration and boredom invites more boredom. Also there is another book called ' the power of your subconscious mind', which says that whatever you convince your subconscious mind about, your subconscious mind makes it happen. It doesn't consider, whether it is right or wrong, true or false. Someone even said, ' Whether you think you are good or bad, you are right'. So I wonder if the secret was written so as to make people think positively, by trying to convince us , that there is a force in the universe which grants all our wishes. Now, according to the theory of the subconscious mind, this will be true, if we believe it without a doubt.
For example, consider any day. Just like the previous day, you wake up and get ready to start your usual day. Now while you go about it, you get an unexpected call from your dear friend who has moved away or something. This makes a normal person quite happy, so assume that you become happy. Then you go about your day in a better mood. Suppose you decide to go out. Outside, you have to cross the road, you almost get hit by a car. Thinking today is lucky, you think you were almost killed and because of your lucky day, you were saved.
You don't pause to consider that you don't get almost killed by vehicles everyday. You look at the incident in a positive way. So, you think all the good things are happening to you because, today is your lucky day or that you are attracting happiness. It's all in the attitude.
Also, I think the same principle was used in religion. Those who believe in it without a doubt, have no issues about the existence of God. But those, who doubt, will find many loopholes, because its all in the mind. I think that is what gave rise to superstitions too. Even today. The film stars, the sportsmen, Ekta Kapoor. All the weird numerology, tarot. It all works because you convince your subconscious it is true.
I think I am done with my rant. My bottom line is that 'it's all in the mind'. You cannot do something only if you convince yourself beyond doubt that you cannot do it. OK. I am done now. Finally.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Great Minds
It's been a month and I still can't bring myself to type out all that I have written in my notebook. What can I say other than yes, I am a lazy ass. Oh yeah, I can say - lucky you.
Anyway I have come across this saying many times and I have still not been able to fully understand it. The saying goes 'Great minds think alike'
In the book of idioms and proverbs that I have, it says it means that people having great minds think of similar things. To quote exactly ,'"Great minds think alike" means that great people think about things in similar ways' And I could not find the origin of this proverb anywhere but it has been used in French by Voltaire in 1760.
"“Comment les Grecs ont-ils mis en fables ce que les Hébreux ont mis en histoire? serait-ce par le don de l’invention? serait-ce par la facilité de l’imitation? serait-ce parce que les beaux esprits se rencontrent? Enfin, Dieu l’a permis; cela doit suffire.”
Voltaire,”Dictionnaire philosophique”, “Bacchus”"
So if this phrase is true, how come only Voltaire came up with it? There were many great minds during his time eg Benjamin Franklin ( I got a rant for him too ). Why didn't they think like him and come up with a similar phrase? Also if this statement holds true, then why do we need innovation. Or why are people who think differently given preference? You should think like other people. You are great. If you go search for diamonds that washed ashore, like a million others, you are great. because you thought like a million others. So is it that the more number of people think like you, greater is your mind?
So why should shakespeare be considered great? No one thought about writing tragedy, romance and comedy in plays. Not at his time at least. Why are movies which have a different storyline from others considered great ( of course this has to be accompanied by great acting and great music ) Oh and what about music. Why are Beethoevn, Mozart et al considered great? because they thought like others?
So next time someone says , hey this isn't different, this is just like others. You can say ' dude, I have a great mind. I think like other great minds '. Or something.
And one more thing. Is it great minds think alike simultaneously? or we don't consider the time factor?
Anyway I have come across this saying many times and I have still not been able to fully understand it. The saying goes 'Great minds think alike'
In the book of idioms and proverbs that I have, it says it means that people having great minds think of similar things. To quote exactly ,'"Great minds think alike" means that great people think about things in similar ways' And I could not find the origin of this proverb anywhere but it has been used in French by Voltaire in 1760.
"“Comment les Grecs ont-ils mis en fables ce que les Hébreux ont mis en histoire? serait-ce par le don de l’invention? serait-ce par la facilité de l’imitation? serait-ce parce que les beaux esprits se rencontrent? Enfin, Dieu l’a permis; cela doit suffire.”
Voltaire,”Dictionnaire philosophique”, “Bacchus”"
So if this phrase is true, how come only Voltaire came up with it? There were many great minds during his time eg Benjamin Franklin ( I got a rant for him too ). Why didn't they think like him and come up with a similar phrase? Also if this statement holds true, then why do we need innovation. Or why are people who think differently given preference? You should think like other people. You are great. If you go search for diamonds that washed ashore, like a million others, you are great. because you thought like a million others. So is it that the more number of people think like you, greater is your mind?
So why should shakespeare be considered great? No one thought about writing tragedy, romance and comedy in plays. Not at his time at least. Why are movies which have a different storyline from others considered great ( of course this has to be accompanied by great acting and great music ) Oh and what about music. Why are Beethoevn, Mozart et al considered great? because they thought like others?
So next time someone says , hey this isn't different, this is just like others. You can say ' dude, I have a great mind. I think like other great minds '. Or something.
And one more thing. Is it great minds think alike simultaneously? or we don't consider the time factor?
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Expectations
Something or the other is always expected of us. By 'us' I refer to the entire human race. I was wondering, just when do people start expecting things from each other? I realised, it was from birth. Then I thought some more and realised, it is before we are even born. Let me elaborate..
When you are in your mother's womb, they expect you to pop out of your mother after 9months, if you dont come early that is. So, that is the first expectation. You have to be born. Then after taking birth, you are supposed to start crying with the first breath. I am neither a doctor nor a mother, nor do I remember what I did immediately after I was born, so I don't know what more is expected. So the second expectation is to cry. And so on. Then you are expected to laugh and cry appropriately, get excited in appropriate situations. Then you are supposed to start speaking. Say mumma, daddy, banana, Czechoslovakia and so on. Then or at the same time, you are supposed to show movement, crawl, sit, walk and so on.
Then comes the toddler stage. You are supposed to remember the names of the things pointed out to you by your parents\ relatives \ siblings. You are supposed to clear the admission interview in the school you are expected to get into. Most of the times you are expected to clear the interviews of ALL the schools in which your parents have applied. Then in school ,you are supposed to make friends, pass exams, be disciplined. This is of course expected of you for each and every exam, each and every course you undertake. You are expected to take part in some sport or any other extra curricular activity which generally is given less importance than academics even if you excel in that activity. You are expected to get a degree. Get a job. A certain age is quoted to you and you are told that that is your marriagable age. So by that age you are supposed to get married. You are supposed to provide your folks with grandchildren after a period of time.
You are supposed to support your parents in their old-age, you are supposed to retire eventually, raise you children properly, and in this cycle you start expecting things too. And this goes on.
Of course there are other random expectations like, you are expected to recover from any ailments or injuries you might have had. If you know how to cook, you are expected to cook etcetera. Not to mention expectations from sportspersons, actors, politicians, and all those who perform well in their fields.Where is the free will? Gone with the Goddamn wind? Oh and the worst(?) part, the things that you expect from yourself.
I wrote all this because I was overwhelmed with all the expectations, I wondered what happens if you defy all the expectations. I wondered when and if they would end. I concluded that they never end. I also concluded that you may be expected to do many things but you are also not expected to fulfill all those expectations. I am not saying expectations are a bad thing, no. I am just acknowledging the fact that they are everywhere and the fact that you can chose to ignore or fulfill those expectations. I suppose therein lies our free will. To fulfill or to ignore the expectations. That is what free will is all about. To ignore or no to ignore.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
The story continues
In the previous post, I had started a story. But I hadn't completed it. I wanted you to speculate what would happen for a while ( yeah I do assume that I have at least one reader ). But now I couldn't wait any longer to put and end to those speculations. Here is what happens :
'Hello there. I was wondering if you could teach me this dance...'
She couldn't believe she had actually said that to the stranger who was holding her in his arms and steering her around the dance floor. And man! was he a good teacher! They sure were getting plenty of curious stares. The shy girl who never danced was dancing with a total stranger and dancing as if she had been born to dance.
The stranger no longer seemed like a stranger to her. He put her at ease with his witty comments about wannabe mother-in-laws who come to the balls to find grooms for their daughters. Sort of like Almacs in the older times. Also, he listened to what she had to say. She could see it in his eyes. Everytime she made some amusing remark, his eyes would light up and his lips would quirk up. Was this a dream or what!
The stranger looked at the girl in his arms. She fit in his embrace so perfectly. She was not only charming but also aware about the current events not only in the country but around the world. He always did have a thing for spunky girls. This one was oozing spunk from her personality. Today sure was his lucky day.
The song got over. Immediately it was followed by a slow song. Then a bit faster cha-cha number. She lost count of the number of songs after a while. This evening, it was just him and his enchanting voice. She was a goner. So it was perfectly natural that she agreed when he suggested they go somewhere private. In fact she had been expecting it.
The stranger led her by the elbow to a garden outside the dance hall. The fresh air was like a messenger of the good times to follow. OR maybe he just felt that because it had been stifling inside the dance hall. Not that he noticed. Though the park was filled with some people , it wasn't as crowded as inside. Most of them were couples who wanted to get away from prying eyes. He needed to get to a place away from these people. After searching for about a quarter of an hour, he found a secluded bench beneath a banyan tree slightly hidden from view. She had been following him like a zombie. Now looking at her seated across him, he knew what she wanted. It was evident from her eyes. And her ragged breathing. And her heated skin when he touched her. Turned her around so that her back was touching his chest. He moved her hair to the side, and his hand made patterns in her neck. His other hand removed something from his coat pocket.
The stranger wrapped the guitar strings around her neck. He had already tightened it sufficiently enough before she realised what was happening and thought to put up a fight. He pulled the strings harder and harder until her fast breathing which had culminated into painful gasps slowed and finally stopped. He didn't use a rod to tighten the death trap like his Spanish ancestors but it was Ok. He would get plenty of chances later. Besides, he had liked this one. She had almost made him change his mind. But mind compelled him. His obssession had won. He wondered if Jack the Ripper or Jeffrey Dahmer had felt the same elation he was feeling right now.
She saw her life flashing before her eyes. And her mother's innumerable unheeded warnings about being wary of strangers with charming tongues. It was too late to tell her mother that she had been right. Too late for her mother. Too late for her. She felt the pain in her chest increasing as the noose tightened. And as she finally gave up, her last thought was , 'today was good.'
MORAL : Do not talk to charming, tall strangers in a crowded ballroom even though you dont have a dance partner. Dont talk to strangers. period. They maybe friends you have not met yet or killers you have avoided so far.
END
PS : This was sure as hell NOT Mills and Boonish. After two people telling me the previous one was, I had a reputation to protect.
'Hello there. I was wondering if you could teach me this dance...'
She couldn't believe she had actually said that to the stranger who was holding her in his arms and steering her around the dance floor. And man! was he a good teacher! They sure were getting plenty of curious stares. The shy girl who never danced was dancing with a total stranger and dancing as if she had been born to dance.
The stranger no longer seemed like a stranger to her. He put her at ease with his witty comments about wannabe mother-in-laws who come to the balls to find grooms for their daughters. Sort of like Almacs in the older times. Also, he listened to what she had to say. She could see it in his eyes. Everytime she made some amusing remark, his eyes would light up and his lips would quirk up. Was this a dream or what!
The stranger looked at the girl in his arms. She fit in his embrace so perfectly. She was not only charming but also aware about the current events not only in the country but around the world. He always did have a thing for spunky girls. This one was oozing spunk from her personality. Today sure was his lucky day.
The song got over. Immediately it was followed by a slow song. Then a bit faster cha-cha number. She lost count of the number of songs after a while. This evening, it was just him and his enchanting voice. She was a goner. So it was perfectly natural that she agreed when he suggested they go somewhere private. In fact she had been expecting it.
The stranger led her by the elbow to a garden outside the dance hall. The fresh air was like a messenger of the good times to follow. OR maybe he just felt that because it had been stifling inside the dance hall. Not that he noticed. Though the park was filled with some people , it wasn't as crowded as inside. Most of them were couples who wanted to get away from prying eyes. He needed to get to a place away from these people. After searching for about a quarter of an hour, he found a secluded bench beneath a banyan tree slightly hidden from view. She had been following him like a zombie. Now looking at her seated across him, he knew what she wanted. It was evident from her eyes. And her ragged breathing. And her heated skin when he touched her. Turned her around so that her back was touching his chest. He moved her hair to the side, and his hand made patterns in her neck. His other hand removed something from his coat pocket.
The stranger wrapped the guitar strings around her neck. He had already tightened it sufficiently enough before she realised what was happening and thought to put up a fight. He pulled the strings harder and harder until her fast breathing which had culminated into painful gasps slowed and finally stopped. He didn't use a rod to tighten the death trap like his Spanish ancestors but it was Ok. He would get plenty of chances later. Besides, he had liked this one. She had almost made him change his mind. But mind compelled him. His obssession had won. He wondered if Jack the Ripper or Jeffrey Dahmer had felt the same elation he was feeling right now.
She saw her life flashing before her eyes. And her mother's innumerable unheeded warnings about being wary of strangers with charming tongues. It was too late to tell her mother that she had been right. Too late for her mother. Too late for her. She felt the pain in her chest increasing as the noose tightened. And as she finally gave up, her last thought was , 'today was good.'
MORAL : Do not talk to charming, tall strangers in a crowded ballroom even though you dont have a dance partner. Dont talk to strangers. period. They maybe friends you have not met yet or killers you have avoided so far.
END
PS : This was sure as hell NOT Mills and Boonish. After two people telling me the previous one was, I had a reputation to protect.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Three Word Wednesday in Wordpress
I just came across this thing called ' Three Word Wednesday ' on wordpress.com . Each week ( A wednesday obviously , in case the name wasn't obvious), the author posts three words and we have to write something using those three words. This week's three words are
Recluse
Temper
Cajole
I read what my friend had written on her blog and when she explained to me how the thing worked, I tried something on my own. Take a look:
She looked around for a dance partner seeing she was the only woman in the huge ballroom who didn't have a partner. Then as she was about to give up and sit out the Viennese waltz , her eyes fell on a tall, dark stranger.
What was strange about this stranger was that, instead of looking at the dancers waltzing on the dance floor, he was staring at her! For how long , she couldn't guess.
She had an uncanny ability to judge a person's character by looking at their body postures and hand gestures. Now, all of a sudden , she was the one doing the staring. The stranger looked right back at her without appearing abashed that he had been caught staring.
'Hmmmmm'. She thought as she contemplated the man who didn't seem to belong to the town she lived in. ' A businessman surely. Immeasurably rich, considering the rich material of his elegantly cut suit which he wore with some kind of disdain as if he was used to such luxuries and was merely bored by it. Surely he didn't socialise much seeing as he didn't have an escort either. So a recluse. Fully devoted to his work types. Good manners forced him to be polite with others but otherwise has a terrible temper...'
She went on assuming his traits, not knowing how she knew them, but knew from past experiences that she was right. She didn't know how, but she just knew.
'Right. Now all that remained was to cajole him to dance with her without apperaing to do so. It was risky, she admitted to herself , to talk to a stranger, but it was either this or stand like a fool while others danced to her favourite song.
Having come to a decision, she walked towards the stranger. All this while, he had been staring right back at her. As she approached him, he merely raised his eyebrows in question.
She said ' Hello..
END
PS : This thing just suddenly came to my mind. IMO, it appears too Mills and Boonish.
Recluse
Temper
Cajole
I read what my friend had written on her blog and when she explained to me how the thing worked, I tried something on my own. Take a look:
She looked around for a dance partner seeing she was the only woman in the huge ballroom who didn't have a partner. Then as she was about to give up and sit out the Viennese waltz , her eyes fell on a tall, dark stranger.
What was strange about this stranger was that, instead of looking at the dancers waltzing on the dance floor, he was staring at her! For how long , she couldn't guess.
She had an uncanny ability to judge a person's character by looking at their body postures and hand gestures. Now, all of a sudden , she was the one doing the staring. The stranger looked right back at her without appearing abashed that he had been caught staring.
'Hmmmmm'. She thought as she contemplated the man who didn't seem to belong to the town she lived in. ' A businessman surely. Immeasurably rich, considering the rich material of his elegantly cut suit which he wore with some kind of disdain as if he was used to such luxuries and was merely bored by it. Surely he didn't socialise much seeing as he didn't have an escort either. So a recluse. Fully devoted to his work types. Good manners forced him to be polite with others but otherwise has a terrible temper...'
She went on assuming his traits, not knowing how she knew them, but knew from past experiences that she was right. She didn't know how, but she just knew.
'Right. Now all that remained was to cajole him to dance with her without apperaing to do so. It was risky, she admitted to herself , to talk to a stranger, but it was either this or stand like a fool while others danced to her favourite song.
Having come to a decision, she walked towards the stranger. All this while, he had been staring right back at her. As she approached him, he merely raised his eyebrows in question.
She said ' Hello..
END
PS : This thing just suddenly came to my mind. IMO, it appears too Mills and Boonish.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
April Fool
Yeah. I know it's still mid February and all. Contrary to popular belief, I would like to make it clear that I am NOT suffering from post-Valentine's Day dementia. Nope. It's just that while I was bloghopping some days back, 60% of the blogs had a post on Valentine's Day!( just like me ). I am like " what the hell! 20 days later everyone will write about holi, then examinations, then april fool's day and so on! Why should I wait for April to arrive to let you know what I did last summer?" So well, another post on why you should be celebrating Thanksgiving everyday instead of on every 4th Thursday of November.. since you are not my brother\sister...
Day : 1st April ( well duh, April fool's day ! )
Time : Sometime during the day, when the sky was bright and clear. ( seriously, this was almost a year ago. Did you really expect me to remember the exact time? I mean I know it was 25 minutes and 32 seconds past 5pm, but the exact time? nah! )
Venue : Home
My brother had just returned from school after giving the first paper ( English ) of his annual exam. For the eternal laziness within me protesting against typing out brother everytime I have to mention him let's refer to him as Bap ( Brother After Paper in short )
Me : Hey! How was your paper? Hope it went well.
Bap : Yeah, it went well. What were you doing?
Me : What do you think? Watching aeroplanes. What else?
Bap : *sighs* As always.... Don't you get bored?
Me : Ha ! April Fool. I wasn't watching aeroplaes! I was watching the first officer in the plane make out with an airhostess. hehe. I fooled you!
Bap : MOMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, * enter my name here * is bugging me. Giving me dirty details.....
Me : You know, you just made use of an alliteration! Perfect example!
* Bap glares at me which brings back my broken nose memories *
Me : What? It was your English paper afterall! I thought you were just trying to show of your skills in figures of speech. Oh my God! * covers mouth with hands *, I just complimented you! Thank me now!
* Bap runs away screaming MOMMAAAA again *
sigh... shit happens
=====================================
Day : NO
Night : April Fool's Nnght. ( Still first of April )
Time : exactly 325 minutes after the aforementioned scene after which my brother sulked for like 30 minutes, then studied for the next day's paper, then ate and was listening to songs on the disc-man, when this happened)
Venue : My bedroom which i share with my Brother Listening to Songs On the Disc-man.( BLSOD for the sake of abbreviations and more importantly convenience )
Me : Dude, I am sorry for today. But I had to fool you at least once. To keep up my reputation you know as the one who fools around even on April Fool's Day.
BLSOD : It's OK * enter nickname you will NEVER hear me utter *. No issues. I overreacted. After sulking for about 1800 seconds, I realised it was pretty cool actually and that I can use the same to fool my friends. Oh and yeah, thank you for complimenting my skills in figures of speech earlier.
* At this time, I am trying to control my laughter at remembering my skills in Hyperbole *
Me : Oh! Good then. All's well that ends well. Or something like that as someone said in the Harry Potter series. I think it was ALbus Percivial Wulfric Brian Dumbledore the First.
* After a few hundred seconds of deep pondering *
Me : Hey!, I am sleepy man. Stop listening to songs on your disc-man.
BLSOD : What the hell! Are you nuts or something? I am using headphones! How can that disturb you! You said you are sleepy right? Just switch off the lights and sleep in peace then. I won't.....What? NO. NOT AGAIN!!
* His outburst consisting of the last four words came after he saw the delightful smirk in my eye and an evil twinkle in my mouth. or vice versa. Whatever. *
Me : I have to say it. I can't resist. APRIL FOOL! HA HA HA. I fooled you again. I am not sleepy at all!
BLSOD : You suck! I am not talking to you till tomorrow morning.
* saying this he switches off the light and goes back to listening to songs. *
I thanked God fervently to have protected me from another broken nose and wondered how come my brother could hear me say anything at all while he was listening to songs on his disc man!
Phew! End.
Day : 1st April ( well duh, April fool's day ! )
Time : Sometime during the day, when the sky was bright and clear. ( seriously, this was almost a year ago. Did you really expect me to remember the exact time? I mean I know it was 25 minutes and 32 seconds past 5pm, but the exact time? nah! )
Venue : Home
My brother had just returned from school after giving the first paper ( English ) of his annual exam. For the eternal laziness within me protesting against typing out brother everytime I have to mention him let's refer to him as Bap ( Brother After Paper in short )
Me : Hey! How was your paper? Hope it went well.
Bap : Yeah, it went well. What were you doing?
Me : What do you think? Watching aeroplanes. What else?
Bap : *sighs* As always.... Don't you get bored?
Me : Ha ! April Fool. I wasn't watching aeroplaes! I was watching the first officer in the plane make out with an airhostess. hehe. I fooled you!
Bap : MOMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, * enter my name here * is bugging me. Giving me dirty details.....
Me : You know, you just made use of an alliteration! Perfect example!
* Bap glares at me which brings back my broken nose memories *
Me : What? It was your English paper afterall! I thought you were just trying to show of your skills in figures of speech. Oh my God! * covers mouth with hands *, I just complimented you! Thank me now!
* Bap runs away screaming MOMMAAAA again *
sigh... shit happens
=====================================
Day : NO
Night : April Fool's Nnght. ( Still first of April )
Time : exactly 325 minutes after the aforementioned scene after which my brother sulked for like 30 minutes, then studied for the next day's paper, then ate and was listening to songs on the disc-man, when this happened)
Venue : My bedroom which i share with my Brother Listening to Songs On the Disc-man.( BLSOD for the sake of abbreviations and more importantly convenience )
Me : Dude, I am sorry for today. But I had to fool you at least once. To keep up my reputation you know as the one who fools around even on April Fool's Day.
BLSOD : It's OK * enter nickname you will NEVER hear me utter *. No issues. I overreacted. After sulking for about 1800 seconds, I realised it was pretty cool actually and that I can use the same to fool my friends. Oh and yeah, thank you for complimenting my skills in figures of speech earlier.
* At this time, I am trying to control my laughter at remembering my skills in Hyperbole *
Me : Oh! Good then. All's well that ends well. Or something like that as someone said in the Harry Potter series. I think it was ALbus Percivial Wulfric Brian Dumbledore the First.
* After a few hundred seconds of deep pondering *
Me : Hey!, I am sleepy man. Stop listening to songs on your disc-man.
BLSOD : What the hell! Are you nuts or something? I am using headphones! How can that disturb you! You said you are sleepy right? Just switch off the lights and sleep in peace then. I won't.....What? NO. NOT AGAIN!!
* His outburst consisting of the last four words came after he saw the delightful smirk in my eye and an evil twinkle in my mouth. or vice versa. Whatever. *
Me : I have to say it. I can't resist. APRIL FOOL! HA HA HA. I fooled you again. I am not sleepy at all!
BLSOD : You suck! I am not talking to you till tomorrow morning.
* saying this he switches off the light and goes back to listening to songs. *
I thanked God fervently to have protected me from another broken nose and wondered how come my brother could hear me say anything at all while he was listening to songs on his disc man!
Phew! End.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Enough Red Already!
I hate red colour! Red cars, Red clothes, Red shoes, Red watches, Red roses , Red balloons( especially of the heart shaped variety). I mean come on!! Why would you want to express your love to someone with red balloons ( of heart-shaped variety ) , red roses, T-shirts with big red hearts on them with 'I *heart* U ' written in bold letters just because everyone else is doing the same? Who in turn are doing this just because Archies and Hallmark are telling them to do that? jeez. Talk about blind followers! Better join the group ' A Consortium of Pub-going, Loose and Forward Women.' on facebook and send a pink chaddi to Mr. Muthalik of the prestigious Ram Sene. Best thing you can do this Love-Day. Oh and yeah, I came across this interesting e-mail about Valentine's Day, which I am copy pasting below. So, make sure you read the above line carefully before you decide to sue me for plagiarism. The e-mail goes this way ...
Valentine's Day- The Real Story
In spite of what you have been told by everyone, the truth is that
Valentine's Day originated hundreds of years ago, in India , and to top it
all, in the state of Gujarat !!!
It is a well known fact that Gujarati men, specially the Patels,
continually mistreat and disrespect their wives (Patelianis). One fine day,
it happened to be the 14th day of February, one brave Patelani, having had
enough "torture" by her husband, finally chose to rebel by beating him up
with a Velan (rolling pin to make chapattis).
Yes....the same Velan which she used daily, to make chapattis for him....
only this time, instead of the dough, it was the husband who was flattened.
This was a momentous occasion for all Gujarati women and a revolt soon
spread, like wild fire, with thousands of housewives beating up their
husbands with the Velan. There was an outburst of moaning "chapatti-ed"
husbands all over Anand and Amdavad.
The Patel men-folk quickly learnt their lesson and started to behave more
respectfully with their Patelanis.
Thereafter, on 14th February every year, the womenfolk of Gujarat would
beat up their husbands, to commemorate that eventful day - the wives having
the satisfaction of beating up their husbands with the Velan and the men
having
the supreme joy of submitting to the will of the women they loved.
Soon The Gujju men realised that in order to avoid this ordeal they need to
present gifts to their wives....they brought flowers and sweets. This is
how the tradition - Velan time - began.
As Gujarat fell under the influence of Western culture, the ritual soon
spread to Britain and many other Western countries, specifically,the catch
words 'Velan time' !!! In course of time, their foreign tongues, this got
anglisized to 'Velantime' and then to 'Valentine'. And thereafter, 14th of
February, came to be known as Valentine's Day and now you know the true
story of Valentine's day.
* E MAIL ENDS HERE *
PS : I found this original version better than the original version about St Valentine or whatever-his-name. And they should have stuck to the beating part. It sure would have been fun to wake up on V-day and see ladies beating the shit out of their husbands instead of the red turd we see these days. Today's generation * shakes head ruefully * And in a way I'm glad it's V-day on saturday. Gave me inspiration to write hate mail for Love-Day. Ha! Yeah and every fuckin' radio station is celebrating valentine's week. So everytime you surf through stations expecting Coldplay, Eminem and the likes all you get is either Enrique or Atif Aslam.
Phbbbt! At least leave the songs alone!
Valentine's Day- The Real Story
In spite of what you have been told by everyone, the truth is that
Valentine's Day originated hundreds of years ago, in India , and to top it
all, in the state of Gujarat !!!
It is a well known fact that Gujarati men, specially the Patels,
continually mistreat and disrespect their wives (Patelianis). One fine day,
it happened to be the 14th day of February, one brave Patelani, having had
enough "torture" by her husband, finally chose to rebel by beating him up
with a Velan (rolling pin to make chapattis).
Yes....the same Velan which she used daily, to make chapattis for him....
only this time, instead of the dough, it was the husband who was flattened.
This was a momentous occasion for all Gujarati women and a revolt soon
spread, like wild fire, with thousands of housewives beating up their
husbands with the Velan. There was an outburst of moaning "chapatti-ed"
husbands all over Anand and Amdavad.
The Patel men-folk quickly learnt their lesson and started to behave more
respectfully with their Patelanis.
Thereafter, on 14th February every year, the womenfolk of Gujarat would
beat up their husbands, to commemorate that eventful day - the wives having
the satisfaction of beating up their husbands with the Velan and the men
having
the supreme joy of submitting to the will of the women they loved.
Soon The Gujju men realised that in order to avoid this ordeal they need to
present gifts to their wives....they brought flowers and sweets. This is
how the tradition - Velan time - began.
As Gujarat fell under the influence of Western culture, the ritual soon
spread to Britain and many other Western countries, specifically,the catch
words 'Velan time' !!! In course of time, their foreign tongues, this got
anglisized to 'Velantime' and then to 'Valentine'. And thereafter, 14th of
February, came to be known as Valentine's Day and now you know the true
story of Valentine's day.
* E MAIL ENDS HERE *
PS : I found this original version better than the original version about St Valentine or whatever-his-name. And they should have stuck to the beating part. It sure would have been fun to wake up on V-day and see ladies beating the shit out of their husbands instead of the red turd we see these days. Today's generation * shakes head ruefully * And in a way I'm glad it's V-day on saturday. Gave me inspiration to write hate mail for Love-Day. Ha! Yeah and every fuckin' radio station is celebrating valentine's week. So everytime you surf through stations expecting Coldplay, Eminem and the likes all you get is either Enrique or Atif Aslam.
Phbbbt! At least leave the songs alone!
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Oh no! I am back. (*terminator voice*)
Hey there reader. I hope you are alive and well and had a great time in the 2-3 months I was away from my blog. No net. No inspiration. No inclination. No time. Except the first one, all my remaining excuses were lame and not admissible. But the first one was enough. :-|. In the 2 months that I wasn't netically ( umm you know, physically, mentally, netically... you get the drift. ) present, many exciting things happened to me. Opeth concert at iitm, college festival, cleaning of my room (:O yes it's true), Ghajini, Dev D songs and boredom ( but obviously ). Also I am going to write a separate blog post for each and every thing that I mentioned above. Yeah, poor you. Then again I may not. But any attempts on killing my net connection, hacking my blog won't be entertained or welcomed. So well to start on a light note, as I mentioned before, I was cleaning my room. And from some random corner in my room, I found English Balbharti, STD VI. So naturally, I flipped through it and rediscovered this awesome poem by Alfred Lord Tennyson. But before that, let me type it to you, that I am not much of a poem person. I like a very few poems and so I haven't tried my hand at poetry writing either. So, here's the poem before you kill me for stalling so much .. But hey, it's my blog!
HOME THEY BROUGHT
Home they brought her warrior dead:
She nor swooned, nor uttered cry:
All her maidens, watching, said,
'She must weep or she will die.'
Then they praised him, soft and low,
Called him worthy to be loved,
Truest friend and noblest foe;
Yet she neither spoke nor moved.
Stole a maiden from her place,
Lightly to the warrior stepped,
Took the face-cloth from the face;
Yet she neither moved nor wept.
Rose a nurse of ninety years,
Set his child upon her knee--
Like summer tempest came her tears--
'Sweet my child, I live for thee.'
- Alfred Lord Tennyson.
HOME THEY BROUGHT
Home they brought her warrior dead:
She nor swooned, nor uttered cry:
All her maidens, watching, said,
'She must weep or she will die.'
Then they praised him, soft and low,
Called him worthy to be loved,
Truest friend and noblest foe;
Yet she neither spoke nor moved.
Stole a maiden from her place,
Lightly to the warrior stepped,
Took the face-cloth from the face;
Yet she neither moved nor wept.
Rose a nurse of ninety years,
Set his child upon her knee--
Like summer tempest came her tears--
'Sweet my child, I live for thee.'
- Alfred Lord Tennyson.
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