Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The Broken Nose Chronicles

Holi came and went. Leaving behind lasting colourful impressions. In my case, the impression was blue in colour. On my nose. And now it is broken Here is how that came about...

Two days back, my folks were out and there was nothing for dinner. I had my classes till late, so I could not save the day (ahhhh). So my brother, tired (he goes for cricket for 3-4 hours 4 days a week!!!!) and irritated went out and got sev puri for both of us.Two plates each. I came home by 9.30 by which my brother was already preparing his will in case he died of hunger. At the table,

Me : So what have you got for dinner?
Tired and Irriated brother ( Taib) : What do you think is in front of you, button eyes?
Me : alright, alright. So there are two plates for each of us right?
* Taib glares which leads to the breaking of The glass*
Me : Just checking.
( after a while)
Me ( my stomach full with sev puri ) : How can you finish two full plates so fast? I can't even complete my first plate. ahhhh
Taib : I haven't got buttoneyes. This is your second plate. I can see your empty first plate right beside you-
Me ( interrupting ) : No, no. You don't understand. This is my first plate. Why can't you believe such a simple thing like this?
Taib (getting more irritated) : achha? Then what is that beside you?
Me ( innocently ) : Oh that. That is my second plate. I decided to have my second plate of sev puri first. And NOW I am eating my first plate. So you see, I can't complete my first plate of sev puri. And that isn't my first empty plate. HA! I was right. Now say sorry for not believing me.
* I am waiting for the apology to come *
* Still there is nothing but silence *
After a while, I take a deep breath and prepare to say something-
Me : Owww. My nose, my nose. aaahhhh.

Moral of the story : Always eat the first plate of sev puri first.

Note :
How to ask minimum three questions from a single simple sentence.( ha ha an alliteration).

The sentence : " Spicymist was called a 'polypoplomaniac' by a girl named Culleez"
The questions : #1 WTF do you mean by spicymist?
#2 What is a polypoplomaniac?
#3 What sort of a name is Culleez?

* always remember the art lies in asking the correct kind of questions . hee hee

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Quote Hanger

I had put upon myself a restriction on using the net since december so that i can study for my boards in those hours. Needless to say most of it was wasted. Anyway, I came across many awesome quotes at this time. I,m not saying i believe in all of them but some are really amusing while others are thought inducing.

# Never be afraid of death, beacuse it is something which does not exist when you do.( though in ' the amber spyglass' they suggest otherwise.)

# When you truly love someone with all your heart, you must be willing to let them die before you, so that they don't have to go through the same pain of losing a dear one. *** ( *** conditions apply. this is valid only if the love is mutual between the two parties)

# All the martyrs like Bhagat Singh, Rani Laxmibai, Lal Bahadur shashtri never sacrificed their life for their motherland. They loved India more than anything else. So why would giving up their life for her freedom be a "sacrifice" ???

# Maybe sometimes we don't do the right thing because the wrong thing looks more dangerous, and we don't want to look scared, so we go and do the wrong thing BECAUSE its dangerous. We're more concerned with not looking scared than with judging right.
( quite something coming from a twelve-year old Will Parry.)

# You will be different. Sometimes you will feel like an outcast. But you'll never be alone. You will make my strength your own. You will see my life through your eyes as your's will be seen through mine. The son becomes the father, and the father, the son." ( i love this line in d movie. remember it????)

# Football is a strange game. Every player tries to get the ball. But when he actually gets it, all he does is kick it away. (muhahahahahahahaha)

# George W Bush will protect your unborn foetus and then let your grown child die in war.

# PJs are not meant for the listeners' entertainment; but for the teller's amusement on looking at thefrustration on the listener's face. ( whoever said this is a genius!!!)

# In passing also,I would like to say that, the first time Adam had a chance, he laid the blame on the woman. ( this was by Nancy Astor, the first woman to acquire a seat in England's parliament. )

# EASY is an adjective used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

# There are very few jobs that actually require a penis or vagina. So technically, all the other jobs must be open all.

# It is God's job to punish the terrorists but is our job to set up the meeting between them. ( long live the Indian Military.)

The best one of all

# Mutual fund investments are subject to market risk. Please read the offer document scheme carefully before investing. ( try reading that as fast as you can. you might just end up with a job!!)

["some" of the quotes have been plagiarised directly from HT, movies and novels. But frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. hee hee )