Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Its War Time!!!!!

ok. So I am updating my blog after more than a month. There were varous factors responsible for this > Exams, lack of inspiration, laziness. Now all of a sudden, none if the factors exist and I am free to blog. And I hate it. Last night provided the inspiration. Though never had I wished for such an eventuality to prompt me to start blogging again. Mumbai attacks!!!

Last night, I was watching the match at home, like almost everyone else who watches cricket. And the result was as predicted. India won. We won. We're leading the series 5-0 now by the way, for those who may not be aware. So then 15 - 20 minutes after the presentation ceremony and all, I heard this huge boom. And then I heard my mom complaining about firecrackers and what a nuisance they are. 5 minutes later, my neighbour comes to our place and asks " did you hear the bang?"
I said " yeah obviously. But why would they burst crackers half an hour after the match is won?? "

And my neighbour said " It wasn't a firecracker. It was a bomb. A taxi just exploded near that new bridge. It's all over the news. Terrorists are hiding in south Mumbai. Firing is on as we speak."

Now, if you must know, I stay very close to the Santacruz airport. And when we went on the terrace, we could actually see the smoke at the explosion site. One minute we are rejoicing yet another Indian victory and te next minute, BOOM, everything changes. A war starts in Mumbai.

While we were at the terrace, phones kept ringing, rumours a-plenty too, and every few minutes a vehicle with a siren would pass. Police vehicle, ambulance, fire-brigade or minister's vehicle, I know not. The patch of highway near our place was blocked and vehicles kept taking a U-turn and cutting back from where they had come. And the news kept coming in. Along with the blast near the airport, there was firing at Hotels Taj and Oberoi, CST terminus and as if that wasn't bad enough there was firing at the Cama Hospital too. ( and I didn't even know about it's existence till yesterday ! ). When I went to sleep, watching the news, they said firing was still on and commando operation had been started at Taj. 2 people had been killed in the blast near the airport and several injured and that all the flight take-offs had been cancelled.

Today morning when I read the newspaper, it said 78 people were killed and over 900 were injured. All this happened after mindnight!! The attack started from Gateway of India ( which sparked rumours that the explosives had come from the sea) and then moved towards CST. All the important places were hit. Nariman point, Metro Adlabs, Colaba, Crawford market, Wadi Bunder and GT hospital too. And on BBC it was reported that 40 people were taken hostages. And 3 officers died on duty : Hemant Karkare of the ATS, encounter specialist Vijay Salaskar ( and i had actually heard of these two for a change!) and addl commissioner Ashok Kamte. RIP, you three. You died cleaning the scum.

So that was the factual part. After each terrorist attack in other cities of India, focus would shift to Mumbai, and after 2-3 days of tight security and high alert, things would go back to the previous lax ways . This is what happened yesterday. One minute you are having dinner, watching TV, or roaming outdoors.. and next ... terror strikes. And what was the purpose of those checks at the railway stations?? When it was required , could they stop the terrorists from entering with AK-47s and hand grenades and start firing? NO. Same at the malls. Metro Adlabs. The security people look as if they are endowing us a great favour by checking our belongings. And at one mall, I dont remember which, I don't even think the metal detectors work because I had a swiss-knife in my pocket and they didn't even realise that. Could they really have not considered the possibility that the terrorists may open fire? Do they really dismiss the terrorists as cowards? That is just plain - bullshit. Just a lame excuse to hide your inefficiency. Where are Shiv Sena and MNS workers right now? what are they doing? Don't they want the marathi manoos to be safe now? Where are the parties standing for elections next year? Next year, If you are going to vote, or if any candidate asks you for vote during those speeches ( if you care to go to one), ask them what they were doing during the terror-attacks in Mumbai and other cities. And what their party had done to help that the other party hadn't to make you vote for that particular candidate. According to me, this tete-a-tete combat is a good opportunity to check our ability against theirs. And we shouldn't be proud. Three senior officers dead and we could manage to kill only two of them yet. And all of them are youngsters! Though I think , we should stop judging their abilities according to their ages. And I don't care if the firing goes on for 3 more days as long as these scum are killed or captured. Total elimination is the word. it is about time these buggers are made to realise that one can only punch a tin box so many times. Then it hardens and hurts anyone who tries to punch it. And don't complain about the bandh if there is one, enjoy the time with your family and friends.

Also this made me wonder, what we as the commoners do for the city? Income tax? Nah. That goes to the national government. Loving the city is not really enough. You need to fight for it too. Donate blood at a hospital nearby to help the injured. Help in any way you can. Otherwise you don't have a right to point a finger at anyone. This is your city. It is your responsibilty to take see to it that it is free from mother-fucking terrotists whose only aim is to gain attention of the masses. They'll hit you as long as you endure it. ABOUT TIME WE STOPPED!!! To pee is human, then it shouldn't be the divine to flush; you pee, you flush it off.

PS : I just realised it was "a wednesday" yesterday and i hope we kill the cunts just like in the movie. I may have used a profanity or two in the post, but I don't care. Am really pissed off right now.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Random Talks

I have got a lot of tolerence in my nucleotides. But sometimes there are people whom you meet who make you regret not wearing a wig. Yeah well, wig because when you pull your real hair in frustration, it hurts. A lot. And then the world comes to know of the well-hidden dandruff and lice in your scalp too. So moral of the story invest in a wig. Be safe and fake-haired rather than letting the world know you share your hair with blood-sucking ticks because you can't avoid meeting these particular category of people. They just exist like cats do. I had the misfortune to encounter such a specimen in my college last year,(*drops to knees thanking the Authority for sending him to another college now*) who was a total narcissist. So after getting your brain banged within your skull listening about the innards of an earthworm and waiting for your mate by the gate in the burning sun, Bam enter the narcissist. ( for the sake of laziness to type narcissist again and again lets us refer to him as CNFTS in short for College Narcissist From Twelfth Standard ). So while you are waiting for your friend this CNFTS starts ranting about the uber cool date he had the previous night which involved roses,candlelight,soft music in the background ( * passes out thinking about the amount of corn involved* ), and the cycle goes on. You attend Physics and learn all about Electromagnetic Induction and again wait for your friend by the gate and this time CNFTS starts off about his celebrity relatives. Now this went on for like 12-15 days in a row ( yeah I told you I was tolerant, and you see i don't like ditching my friends either so i kept waiting by the gate too ) and then suddenly on the 16th day, the sun shone brighter, the trees looked greener, the birds chirped louder...Ok I'll stop. Everything was same except my mood. It was really pissed off. And here's the scene:
I am waitiing by the gate for my nutty mate to come down ( did I mention she was in a different division and her lecture timings were different, so the wait state? anyway, so now you know ) and CNFTS comes and starts. But this time he sees the expression on my face and goes:
CNFTS :Oh so you think I am making all of this up?

Me : No, I can't think at all. Thinking is injurious to health. I read the footnotes in the advertisements on TV.

CNFTS : Huh? So I will prove it to you that I am good. See that girl coming around the corner? I'll chat her up and she will compliment me in front of everyone. So you want to make it a challenge haan? Today you have questioned my intergrity? I cannot stay silent. I will have to give you a suitable reply

( All this was spoken in a shrill voice and by now a few people had gathered around the place too )

Me : WTF? What are you on about?

CNFTS : No you wait and see. I am going to chat up that chick and show it to you that I am good. ( leaves to talk to the random chick by the block. lets call her RCBTBL )

( After a while, when I have forgotten all about the sudden outburst from CNFTS, I hear the RCBTBL burst out laughing )

CNFTS crosses the road like a person who has just found the upper limit of infinity, amid imaginary applause.

CNFTS : See? I told you I was good. Do you know what she thinks of me?

Me : Ummmm. She thinks you are Pillankhrosh Mehta?

CNFTS : What? Who is he? no. She thinks I am cute. That I remind her of a puppy she had in her previous life...

Me : was that puppy called Pillankhrosh? ( * others are controlling their laughter right now* )

CNFTS : NO. So she said I reminded her of her puppy. And that she would like to call me a puppy. Can you imagine? She even said "bye for now, puppy. It was nice talking to you"

( * ok so the viewers can't control their laughter much longer * )

Me : Yeah? So why the hell are you smiling? Dude she just insulted you. what is a puppy? A puppy is nothing but a son of a bitch. She called you a son of a bitch and you thought she was complimenting you? HAHAHAHAHA . Awwww poor baby.

* And I left amid loud applause which wasn't imaginary in my case.*
Then of course I remembered that my friend still hadn't come and so I went back amid the cheers of encore and told my other gate-friends I had made in my wait state to tell my friend that my waiting days were over and again left amid imaginary applause back home.

Note : The incident I narrated didn't actually happen, but I wanted to make up a good story to post that conversation. bah if someone like that bugs me, I don't wait for the imaginary other division friend at all. Just show em the finger and move on. Cheers. I am going to post more such conversations which I had with my brothers and more imaginary ones too. :P

Sunday, September 21, 2008


I came across this in *humbl devil's* blog ~:<{dêvïl’z Åbõdê}>:~ . found it pretty kool , lets see how many I answer before I get bored and do tell me how many you could read :P

( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) done some form of dope
(v) crashed a friend's car : uncle's car yeah. friends don't trust me enough for that
( ) stolen a car
(v) been in love : who isn't?
( ) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
(v) been in a fist fight : yeah with brother
( ) sneaked out of your parent's house
(v) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back: yeah
( ) gone on a blind date
(v) lied to a friend : yeah but had a reason
(v) skipped school: 10th grade. No one attends school :D
(v) seen someone die: die, no. dead,yeah, my grandad
(v) had a crush on one of your internet friends : *sigh* yeah
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(v) been on a plane : yeah
( ) eaten sushi
(v) been skiing-snow or water : yeah Manali
(v) met someone from the internet : yeah
(v) been at a concert : Bombay Vikings, Enrique Iglesias
(v) taken painkillers : yeah
(v) love someone or miss someone right now : yeah
(v) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by : Still do it on my terrace
(v) made a snow angel : Yeah this year, when i was in Gulmarg ** goes starry eyed and drools all over the keyboard remembering all those good times **
(?) had a tea party : Don't remember . perhaps in childhood
(v) flown a kite : yeah. Every year. now i can launch the kite on my own too :P
(v) built a sand castle : yeah. used to do that earlier now just running about
(v) gone puddle jumping : I was a naughty kid
(v) played dress up : *sigh* yeah , we used to have fashion shows till I was 9
(v) jumped into a pile of leaves : dry leaves.
(v) gone sledding : sledding??
(v) cheated while playing a game: Picnic
(v) been lonely : Yeah but a call to friends cures that.
(v) fallen asleep at work/school : yeah last year
(v) used a fake ID : yeah to get into some other college campus
(v) watched the sun set : yeah. Again from my building terrace
(v) watched someone sleep : I put my nephew to sleep once in a while
(:) felt an earthquake : not really but it feels like that on a roller coaster
(v) slept beneath the stars : Shit. I just realised I absolutely love my terrace
(v) been tickled : Yeah , so many times that I think I have become immune to it
( ) been robbed
(v) been misunderstood :
(v) pet a reindeer/goat/kangaroo : goat's young one
(v) won a contest : yeah
( ) run a red light/stop sign
( ) been suspended from school
(v) been in a car crash : yeah and it still gives me goosebumps
( ) had braces
( ) felt like an outcast/third person
(v) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night ...lotsa tyms...hehe
(v) had deja vu : yeah Freaky stuff
(v) danced in the moonlight : danced at night when there must have been a moon in the sky
(v) liked the way you looked : some rare narcissist moments :p
( ) witnessed a crime
(v) questioned your heart : yeah, questioned it, found faults with it, listened to it anyway
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
(v) squished mud through your bare feet : yeah awesome feeling
(v) been lost : yeah someone told me "get lost", and I did at a park
(v) been on the opposite side of the country : Does West Bengal count as East or North East??
(v) swam in the ocean : Goa !!
(v) felt like dying...hehehehe
(v) cried yourself to sleep : 2 years back
(v) played cops and robbers : School recesses were not for lunch!
(v) recently colored with crayons : yeah brohter's project
(v) sang karaoke : Essel World, Infiniti and do YouTube karaoke's count?
(v) paid for a meal with only coins : College canteen :P
( ) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(v) made prank phone calls : All the time. Now now, before you get any ideas, i wasn't the one who has been calling at 3am to ask calculus formulae
(v) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose : ugh. Yeah. Sprite. burnt my nose
( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue : I wish but I caught raindrops on my tongue
(v) danced in the rain : yeah. Awesome stuff
( ) a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under the mistletoe
(v) watched the sun rise with someone you care about : Parents. Darjeeling ** starts drooling again **
(v) blown bubbles : Still do. paas aao paas aao paas aao naa =))
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
( ) gone roller skating
(v) had a wish come true : just today, morning
(:) jumped off a bridge : Not yet. But damn i know I'm going to bungee jump at least once
( ) ate dog/cat food
(:) told a complete stranger you loved them : nah told others I loved him ( Steve :p)
( ) kissed a mirror : Now i wouldn't say I was making out eith a mirror will I ?
(v) sang in the shower : It irriates my brother, so yeah :p
( ) had a dream that you married someone
(v) glued your hand to something : to my other hand. This fevikvik ( not sure about the spelling) is effective. Don't try it at home. YOu have it fromt he horse's mouth
(v) kissed a photo : Not really, but the coverpage of a book
( ) climbed a water tower
(v) screamed at the top of your lungs : Building terrace again!!!
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(v) talked on the phone for more than 5 hours : Obviously. Hey it didn't mention if it's at a stretch!! At a stretch no. I like to talk but not that much :P
( ) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(v) climbed a tree : Yeah. Then was bitten by a bee
( ) had a tree house
( ) been too scared to watch a scary movie alone
( ) believe in ghosts
( ) have more than 30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school : Yeah fancy dress, had become a crow
( ) gone streaking
(v) gone doorbell ditching : come now , you must admit, it's fun; if your'e on the right side that is:p
( ) been pushed into a pool/hot tub with all your clothes on
(v) told you're hot by a complete stranger : eavesteasing perverts
( ) broken a bone
(v) been easily amused : I'm always amused no matter what. call it looking at the amusing side of things
( ) caught a fish then ate it
(v) caught a butterfly : I regretted it though. its wing got all crumpled
(v) laughed so hard you cried : It was weird but yeah
( ) cried so hard you laughed
(v) cheated on a test ...once or twice,feel very uncomfortable. I don't like being dishonest to myself
(v) forgotten some one's name : always happens when I vaguely remember looking at their faces in some random movie :p
(v) French braided some one's hair : yeah, made hell of a mess of it too!
( ) gone skinny dipping in a pool/hot tub/river
( ) been threatened to be kicked out of your house or been kicked out of your house
(>) loved someone so much you would gladly die for : NEVER, I'll elaborate my point in some other post perhaps
( ) cheated on someone : never
(v) talk to yourself when no one's around : even when someone is around , I do that sometimes
( ) hate someone you once loved
( ) love someone you once hated
( ) kissed the phone for the person on the other side : Just reading about it brought a WTF expression on my face. Then again maybe I *might* get struck my lightening and do it in future
( ) kissed the person on the other side of the phone : what's the difference between this question and the one above???

Friday, September 19, 2008

What Do You Think?

I was going to write about my Kashmir trip this time , but I decided to narrate\type\tell this story because I just made it and it is fresh in my mind. :p
It's a story about two men and their families ( not families mostly, but they play a passive role). At the end of the story, I want to know from you, what you think of the characters and their actions and whether they were justified. For the sake of not insulting anyone by using names, let us refer to them as Mr. A and Mr. B.
Land prices today are as high the buildings they are making these days, aren't they? This story happened before that.
There was a patch of land located in the forest, which wasn't really habitable because of the surrounding wilderness. Mr. A was hard working and strong, but he wasn't much smart in business. He lived on a hand to mouth existence. Didn't save much but one thing good was his father had some influence. He got his son the permission to live on that patch of land. Now this Mr. A respected nature and instead of razing the trees, he made his home without harming the trees or other flora and fauna. In other words, he accepted the nature around him as a part of his life. He married and had kids and all that comes with married life (yawn!). He lived a pretty isolated life. He didn't talk to other people that much, but he loved his family and was fiercely protective of them. His IQ may have been as low as the railing of that new bridge they built on the Western Express Highway near the domestic airport, but he was pretty strong and could hold his own in a brawl at the pub and stuff like that. Provocate him, he'll tolerate you for a while and then give it back to you, all of it and more.
Enter Mr. B in the picture. ( or in this case, story-on-the-blog ). Now Mr. B was not so strong but was smart. And he had influence too, so he acquired permission to live on the aforementioned-unhabitable-but-inhabited-by Mr. A land too. Whoa, so our Mr. A had a neighbour in his isolation now. Mr. B was a social animal. He went to parties, had parties at his home and stuff. He even made friends with A and his family. Now, A accepted B and his family as his neighbours but sometimes he would get wary of the fact that B was much smarter than him. B here expanded his business ventures and made huge profits. He brought his business home. Set up a manufacturing plant right next to his home. All that disturbed his peace life but , he made compromises. But he started taking advantage of A's lack of intellect. He would use A's sons for labour at a rate much cheaper than was dictated by the government. He even got rid of the trees surrounding their land and of which A was very fond of. So you see, B was this shrewd fellow, who in the name of ' for the greater good of all', did everything he could for his own benefit. He would set his own rules and didn't care much about other people's rules but he broke them in such a way that the other person feels, B is actually helping them out.

Some people did raise a voice against B's antics but he managed to convince most of them that what he was doing was just another way of doing what was good for all. And those who saw through the honeyed-talk were silenced thorugh his influence.

One day he went too far. He expanded his house by demolishing A's house. Now A was homeless. He hadn't realised he and his family were being abused. He hadn't paid much attention to the people fighting for him against B , because to him they were just 'smart people' like B; not trustworthy. Since he was homeless, A had no choice but to roam about what had been his property, his home till the day before. But B showed his nasty side to him and threw A out of the house and accused him of trespassing. A became really frustrated now. He was homeless, Not smart enough to find work at his old age, and his influential father was dead. His family depended on him for support. One time one of his sons wandered into B's property and stole some food. B was a bit drink or he wouldn't have reacted the way he did. He killed A's son.

A had enough of it now. He was done tolerating B's nonsense and he was done being pushed about in the name of good. Screw all and screw all their well - wishes. When things came to his family, he forgot the rest. He went to B's place in a towering rage and beat him to a pulp. Vandalised the place in general and went away.

Unfortunately or fortunately, B survived and lodged a complaint against A. He declared that A was deranged and so was not safe to have around. As a result A was arrested. A didn't try to defend himself. He didn't care! People were of mixed opinions. Some people agreed that B had it coming to him after what he did to A's son. Some said, A was a brute and should be hanged, while some thought, B should be made to pay but A's method had not been right.

Politicians started including A and B in their speeaches. Several Save A's life organistaions and petitions came up. The debate is still going on as to whether A should live or not. It's been more or less decided that he should live, but the decision has not yet been implemented. People depending on others to implement that. People moved on. While A's life has been stuck in a rut since that. Once or twice a month, he has to go to court to see lawyers battling out his fate. But he seems aloof from all of it now. Like he is just outside looking in through the wall . or perhaps he's just numb and indifferent to it.

Now think about what A did . And what B did. In my opinion all of us are B in some small way at least. And the animal kingdom is A. This analogy just came to it. Think about it.

Ps : in teh previous post, i forgot to mention, there was this one news channel who had claimed that Steve was good with crocodiles because he used to sodomise them. :(( faggots

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Life Of a Legend

Two years ago, today, ie, 4th of September, an innocent stingray used its barb in supposed self-defense and was responsible for giving a huge jolt to the world of animal conservation. It killed beloved crocodile hunter, Steve Irwin.
Some people hated him, most of the people loved him. But no one can deny the fact that once anyone saw him in action as ' the crocodile hunter', they could not remain wholly indifferent to him. Frankly how can that be possible? How can anyone ignore that innocence and complete honesty oozing out of his personality? One look at his eyes and you are toast. Eyes wink, eyes allure, eyes twinkle, eyes glitter, but very rarely do eyes beam. Steve's eyes beamed. When you look into his eyes, you get this feeling that he is saying " Come here. You are welcome to my world. It is such a beautiful place. crickey! Become a part of it and experience it for yourself". ( Oh well i guess there was way too much corn in it but thats how it is. Talking about Steve aayerwin makes me that way:P)
As if he wasnt enough we have an equally enthusiastic soulmate of his who in his own words used to get scared to tears for him but never once did she ask him to stop what he was doing. And then theres Bindi who is an animal nut like him and ickle Bob. What a kick-ass family!

So what makes him different from other animal conservationalists? Why not Jeff Corwin ( thought I daresay he's very popular too ). I guess if anyone asks me why I love\worship him so much, I wont't be able to answer it properly if at all ( that'd be a first one won't it? me not answering back?), but I'll wonder about it for days and nights and come up with the same answer I have right now : I don't know. But it goes deep like you know love for one's country. There's no particular reason as such. Animal magnetism counts?:P Steve didn't need to make an effort to show his passion for conservation. Others ( forgive me if you are offended) seem to try to show enthusiasm about it. ( a la david blaine and chris angel. Angel seems more on the defensive side although he may be a better magician). He lived his life full throttle, taking unthinkable risks to save animals, in spite of knowing, deep down, that one day his luck could run out. This sort of unconditional devotion to his beliefs is very appealing too, no? Besides I haven't encountered many men who could compare a woman to an orangutan and actually get away with it by making the woman ( Kathy Buchanan in this case) feel complimented. He was as enthusiastic about his family as his work. How many people can claim that they are their child's hero? His ebullient antics, broad australian accent, and knack of making you feel as if you are the only one he is talking to and what you think or do matters to him made him a household name across the world.

He had his share of controversies too. Dangling Bob-too-near-the croc incident. People said he was idiotically fearless. Now thats not really fair. :-| He always said that being brought up in the zoo with his conservationalist parents, what seemd bizarre and dangerous to others like dodging a four metre croc, tossing beer snakes, rescuing baby bats, was just a walk in the park for him. He was born and raised with wild animals so these 'antics' were completely natural to him. Modern day Mowgli I say. Though here is something which shows he was a mortal just like us: he lived in constant fear of fast cars after losing his mom to a car crash!
5th September,2006. I was having my morning cup of coffee and browsing through papers as usual and thinking about Teachers' Day. Mumbai Mirror, Page 29, left side, bottom of the page were the lines " Eccentric conservationalist : Steve 'crocodile hunter' Irwin dies in a freak accident with a stingray." Shit. I kept on staring at that headline for an eternity it seemed, without really processing it. After that i don't really remember what happened. I guess I was numb. Mainly because Steve was one of those vital creatures of whom when they do die, we say it seems impossible that they can be dead. Isn't it amazing what one barb can do? I can't even imagine what his family must have gone through at that time. One day, he is all hale and hearty and merry as usual. Next day, he is gone, never to return. One small consolation is that he always said, he wanted to die doing what he loved the most. If he'd have had the chance to say something, I guess he would have said " crocs rule and crickey it wasn't the stingray's fault. it was me who was invading its privacy"
People tell me , move on he's gone. get over it. Why should I? if moving on means not thinking of him when I see a snake or a particularly amazing stunt by a bird, I don't want to forget him. I don't swim around with crocs like he did, but thanks to him, I do love all animals now. I'm not even disgusted by insects. That's his legacy. That's how Steve lives on.
Beloved,eccentric,charming,generous,passionate,gorgeous,innocent,lovable, gentleman of the wild. A wildlife warrior. That's Steve for you. Love you Steve.

( Note : I meant to post this yesterday but the draft wasn't complete yet and I didn't want to spoil it by haste, so posting it today. Btw Happy Teachers' Day to all:P )

Friday, June 27, 2008

A Secret Tag

I was tagged by Nirmal to reveal 10 of my secrets. So here they are after much ado:p

# I am shit scared of crossing roads. Especially crossroads and highways. I mean I don't faint in the middle of the road , but I always join a group of people about to cross the road, or if I'm with someone I know, I grab their hand. Very, painfully ( at least I think, it must be painful), hard.

# I love all animals, wild and tame alike. But I'm scared of cows and bulls. And I have had too many bad experiences to ever be convinced otherwise. Yeah, if they are tied up, then I don't mind feeding and petting them.

# People think that since I talk a lot, I'm very outgoing. Actually I'm an intovert. What others know about me is only what I want them to know. So you may think, ooh I know you do this, you like that, but all that you know because I told you about it.

# And my face is NOT an open book. You can't guess what I'm feeling from my facial expressions unless I am really pissed off. Then you'll know very well what I'm feeling. :p

# Whenever I'm out with someone alone, I don't like it when that person keeps talking on the phone for ages. I mean five minutes maximum unless the call's urgent. Afterwards I get the feeling of being ignored and lose interest in the outing and that person too with whom I have gone, be it my cousin, relative, mom, dad, friend whoever. ( at least for the duration of that outing ).

# I rarely lose my temper or feel hurt by what someone says or does to me. But when I do take it to heart, I never ever forget that incident and so i guess I never really do forgive them. Yeah, I'll tell them I have forgiven them to make them feel better, but there always will be a little less respect for them than what I had for them earlier. Maybe this isn't good but that's the way I am.

# I didn't cry watching titanic. I didn't cry in Black. I didn't cry in Rang De Basanti, but I was like a human hosepipe when I watched The Green Mile, Passion of the Christ and Taare Zameen Par. And I cried a lot when J K rowling killed off Sirius Black and Dumbledore in the 5th and the 6th Harry Potter parts respectively. And when Steve Irwin died? I couldn't even eat for two days.

# Back when I was in 5th standard, I had swallowed a 5 rupees coin ( unintentionally of course. :-| How it actually happened is another long story about which I'll talk some other time.) So to remove that coin without surgery I had to eat a dozen bananas for two weeks. And I hate bananas, so it was particularly difficult. But after that incident , I haven't eaten a single entire banana till today. :D And I wish to continue to claim this as long as I can. :D

# I love to see my brother laugh. Sometimes I act dumb and and do other crazy stuff at home to make him laugh. Same with friends too. I act nutty because it makes them laugh and I feel very happy to know that I made them laugh. ( aahh, so there's a bit of selfishness involved there I guess.:P)

# Ahh. The last one finally. I hate to dress up. I'm usually most comfortable in lose tops with capries or tracks. But on every occasion, I dress up according to the dress code expected because I feel that otherwise I'll be insulting the person who has invited me to the occasion, or even at public places, if I'm not appropriately dressed I feel I'm letting my folks down or something.

I have done enough gut spilling today to last me a few years at least. :D. And I don't know if I'll let this post remain on the blog for a long time.

Saturday, June 14, 2008


Yoo hoo. Rains are here. Maybe rains read my blog and decided if they didn't arrive soon, I might get the urge to write another poem like 'monsoon o monsoon'. :D Whatever. Monsoon brings many things with it. The leaves of the gulmohur tree get laden with water droplets which fall on you when you shake them. ( try it , it's a really cool feeling. Yeah , maybe I'm a bit partial to gulmohur trees after the flower incident). Then the oh-so-good-and-widely-talked-about smell of the earth. Then come the water logged pot-holes, overflowing gutters and amazing winds with biting rainfall (like duh, monsoon will of course bring rains with it). Hey, have you ever tried looking up at the sky at night when it is raining? sans your umbrellas and wind cheaters I mean? if no, then do it tonight, if it rains that is. If yes then don't the raindrops look like diamonds falling from the sky just before they hit your face? Also try catching the raindrops on your tongue ( NOT because that sms which says, next time it rains, try to catch the drops on your tongue. The drops you catch is how much you miss me and the ones you miss is how much I miss you, but beacuse it's real fun and nourishing too if you must know. Raindrops have vitamin B 12 in them ).

But I haven't titled this post judgement to talk about pros and cons of monsoon. I tend to digress. A lot. I just discovered a new test to check how caring people are of others' feelings. All you have to do is watch them drive in the rain. Especially, when they encounter aforementioned water-filled pot holes. If they slow down near the pot holes, then they are cautious about their actions and considerate of what their actions will do to others. These are the rare good ones. The rest are, well, inconsiderate. But then, I would be generalising and I hate generalising or being branded a hypocrite. :P

The rest fall under three categories :
# 1 Those who deliberately do that. These are the real scums. And leave without a shred of regret. I guess these are the people who are majorly involved in hit-and-run cases.
# 2 Those who are not aware of their actions. They didn't know that they splashed the pedestrians with mud. These are the careless ones or maybe they hadn't been able to slow down in time to stop the damage. Like those who just started to drive or are still learning to drive. These usually don't stop to apologise.
# 3 The really good ones who genuinely regret their actions and sometimes even stop their vehicle to apologise to the pedestrian.

Probably this was a silly post but I just felt like writing something. Couldn't think of anything better.

Monday, June 9, 2008

An Inspiring Article

I came across this article when I was reading someone's blog. This someone in turn had read this article in "The Statesman". So, this post is not my own in totality unless you count what I'm babbling right now. Usually I don't just copy paste articles from somewhere but I loved this article so much that I'm posting it here as I read it. You can copy the article from here and post it on your blog too. Yeah yeah I know, enough build up eh? I'll post the article now before you shut this page in disgust without actually reading the article but here's something about it without which you wouldn't know who spoke this. The article is an excerpt of Mahasweta Devi’s inaugural address at the Frankfurt book fair in the year 2006, in Germany. Don't ask me who is Mahasweta Devi because I have no idea whatsoever. Go wiki her or something.

Extracts from Mahasweta Devi’s inaugural address at the Frankfurt Book Fair, Germany

“At 80 plus I move forward, often stepping back into the shadows. Sometimes I am bold enough to step back into the sunlight. As a young person, a mother, I would often move forward to when I was old. Amuse my son. Pretend not to see, or hear him. Flail my hands like in a blind man’s game, or make a mockery of memory. Forget important things. Things that had taken place but a moment ago! These games were for fun. Now they are no longer funny. My life has moved forward & is repeating itself. I am repeating myself. Recollecting for you what has been. What is. What could have been. May have been…”

“Nothing happens unless you know how to dream. The establishment is out to destroy, by remote control, all brain cells that induce dreams. But some dreams manage to escape, and I’m after those dreams. The right to dream should be our first fundamental right. And what I say next is an extension of those dreams”

“What do we mean when we speak of Indian culture in the 21st century? What culture? Which India? 60 yrs after our hard won independence, the Khadi sari is India just as the mini-skirt and the backless choli is. A bullock cart is India just as much as the latest Toyota or Merc. Illiteracy haunts us & still the same India produces men & women at the foremost of medicine, science and technology. Eight year old children toil mercilessly, facing unimaginable working conditions and abuse as child labor. And yet there are another lot of 8 year olds who spend their time in Air-conditioned classrooms & call their mothers at lunch break using their personal mobile phones. That too is India. Satyam shivam sundaram is India. Choli ke peechey is also India. The Multiplex and Mega mall is India. The snake charmer & the maharishi, that too is India.”

“Indian culture is a tapestry of many weaves, many threads. The weaving is endless as are the shades of the pattern. Somewhere dark, somewhere light, somewhere saffron, somewhere as green as the fields of new paddy, somewhere flecked with blood, somewhere washed cool by the waters of a Himalayan spring. Somewhere, the red of a watermelon slice. Somewhere, the blue of an autumn sky in Bengal. Somewhere, the purple of a musk deer’s eye. Somewhere, the red of a new bride’s sindoor. Somewhere, the threads form words in Urdu, somewhere in Bengali, elsewhere in Kannada, somewhere in Assamese, yet elsewhere in Marathi. Somewhere, the cloth frays. Somewhere, the threads tear. But still it holds. It holds”

“The pattern shifts, flows, stutters, forms again & changes shape from one season to another. I see one India in the pattern. You see another. Light & shadow play. History & modernity collide. Superstition & myth, Rabindra sangeet & rap, Sufi & Shia & Sunni, caste system & computers, laughter & tears, Governments & oppositions, reservations & quotas, Sanskrit & SMS, hamburgers & hari om hari. A seamless stitch. Many hands have stitched, are stitching, and will continue to stitch India. My country – torn, tattered, proud, beautiful, hot, humid, cold, sandy, bright, dull, educated, barbaric, savage, shining. So chaotic, yet so calm. So flexible, yet so rigid. So rich, yet so poor. So understanding, yet so easily misunderstood. After all, there are many Indias, as I keep repeating. Simultaneous, even parallel. India. My country. And its myriad cultures. There is room in India for all faiths. Despite the communal threats, the fundamentalism, the backwardness of rural life, the memories of underdevelopment (which are no memories but harsh realities for us), the threat of AIDS, natural & man-made disasters, farmer suicides, police violence, environmental disasters wreaked by industries and farmlands being purchased by MNCs, despite the battering of history & circumstances, India still is. Its culture still is. India has learnt to survive, to adapt, and to keep the old with the new.”

“I dream of an India where ‘backward’ does not & cannot ever apply. I wish to be Third world no more but the First! I wish for children to be educated. I wish for women to step into the light. I wish for justice for the common man. Survival for farmers. Homes for the poor. And hope for all. I wish for debts to cease. For poverty to vanish. For hunger to become a bad word that no one utters. I wish for the environment to be protected, to be loved & restored. I wish for the lands to be healed, the waters to be pure again, for the tiger to survive. I wish for self-reliance, for self respect, for independence from the shackles of superstition. I wish for equal medical aid for all. For light & water & a roof above every head. I wish for more & more books to be written, published in every language of the country. Let the words pour out. Let stories be told. Let the people read. Let the people learn how to read. To trace their fingers over each alphabet until they can spell their names, till they can write for themselves – I know. I can. I will. Let us battle ignorance with knowledge, and hatred with logic.”

“I wish for no more satis. No more dowry deaths, no more honor killings, no more flesh being bought & sold. Let no more parents have to sell their children to survive. Let no more mothers drown their daughters in the dead of the night. Let the downtrodden awake. Let the ignored & marginalized, the forgotten faces & the muffled voices arise to claim their own. Let the pattern make room. Let these new threads find place. Let new colors set the tapestry afire. Into that heaven of freedom, let my India awaken again & again. It is a big dream, I know. But not an impossible one. For any culture as old as ours to have survived over time through adversities, there can be only one basic & common acceptable core thought : humanness. To accept each other’s right to be Human with dignity.”

“This then, is my fight, my dream. In my life and in my literature.”


Though I 'think' she may be an author. Pretty inspiring, no? If you read the entire article you may get this urge to post it on your blog or share it with your friends. DON'T quell this urge. Follow your instinct and do whatever you thought first after reading this( but don't expect me to be very co-operative if you feel an urge to kill me), because I think that if you start thinking about it, you may not do what you wanted to. Moral of the story : Thinking kills impulses and impulses are what differentiate people from one another, uhh according to me at least.

Friday, June 6, 2008

From an insomaniac

Dear Sleep,
Hey there. I know we met just a few hours back but, you seemed distant and aloof. It seems you haven't forgiven me for past month's negligence. * sighs heavily*. Since you are one of my closest friends, and I have spent almost one third of my entire life with you, I'm writing this letter to explain my actions in the past month.
Mind you, if it hadn't been for the above reasons or the fact that I really need you, i wouldn't have bothered to write this letter. So when you do read this letter, keep in mind the honour I'm giving you by betraying my other good friend, Laziness. Now really, you know about my fair-weather friend Exam ( really, isn't the weather fair in summer???). I had neglected the preparations for his arrival in the day time, due to the bad influence of my aforementioned good friend Laziness. So I thought, you, my nocturnal friend, would understand that I had avoid you for a few days to get rid of Exam, but for that I needed to prepare properly or I knew you would refuse to come to me, if I hadn't been good to Exam. You were good to me in Kashmir, but that I think was because, you didn't want to alarm my cousins. But later when I returned home , you refused to even come near me!!
Just think about it, is this fair? After all the wonderful nights we shared together? After all the stuff I had to put up with to please you? You would always start sulking whenever I thought of someone at night. I tried to keep your jealousy at bay, but I always gave in, in the end. You bring sweet dreams with you most of the times, even though you know I find sweet dreams very boring, but I smiled at them and was good to them because they came along with you.
It wasn't easy for me too, when you were away from me. I had to endure terrible headaches, during the day ( and night too), in your absence. ( for which I'll be eternally grateful to coffee for saving my life). I am very sorry and I really need you and will always will need you. Please , please , please come back to me.

Your good friend ( still hoping to be),

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Bills n Moon

Yeah, yeah I know it's called Mills n Boon. SO WHAT?. Whatever, I don't know if I mentioned in my earlier posts that books are my one weakness. Mysteries, fantasies, sci-fi, thrillers, history, war stories, mytholgical tales, and so on. Did you notice anything common in the fields\genres I specified aside from the fact that they are a criteria for books? If yes, then well done. If no, then I'll tell you, all of them have a definite story and a strong plot. I'll come to this significant, useless point later.

So, when a lay my hands upon an interesting mystery, usually I complete it in at one go. I mean Perry Mason cases and Nancy Drew et al. I know reading is a good habit and all that, but for me, it sort of became an obsession that I had to complete a book at one go, which disturbed my other chores of the day. So my mom here had a very bright , not so unique idea of hiding them away for a while. So I had nothing to read for a few very painful days. But then, along came my cousin, who also reads books. Only difference was, she mainly reads silhouette and mills n boon stuff, and she had brought two of 'em with her. I thought this was a divine temptation. I had no books. She had two. Not fair. Is there no justice? Since I had nothing else to read, and I was feeling very deprived, so I read one of her mills n boon at one go. I don't know what it was, the fact that I was so so hungry (?) for books or the fact that they hypnotise you to read it completely or something, but while I was reading it, I didn't get bored. But after I finished the book? Yeah I felt like banging myself on head with a pestle. Here is where we return to the aforementioned significant useless point. The whole frigging book didn't have a story. No logic, wild emotions, utterly predictable ending. I mean what was the point of the whole book? It just raises expectations from the kind of partners the readers want.

No. I won't criticise the book. What would be the point? My criticism won't bother the publisher or the author's ass. Or the devoted readers. So I wonder what was the point of this post anyway. I mean you didn't learn anything as such. Also the fact that I love books is mentioned in the about me section. So this post was utterly pointless like the book which I read but didn't want to read, but had to, as there was nothing else and I had to feed my reading glands ( The Lire gland located just below the ear. aye, kaan ne niche). But unlike mills n boon romance, at least my post didn't have a predictable end. You thought , it must have been a fire post like a previous one? ha ha. You ought to appreciate anti-climaxes more.

I wonder why everything has to have a point. Just imagine a pointless life. A pointless world. If there was not a single point in the world, then there would be no points ( plural )in the world to. Which means............... NO segments, NO rays, NO lines, NO circles,NO conics, NO complex geometrical shapes. Life would be this whole pointless journey. :D

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Generation and Generalisation

Don't you come across many middle-aged people who keep nagging young people about how today's world is spoiling them? Perhaps that obese lady in your building, who has to push her butt in each and every person's life? Or that uncle who keeps warning you to take care because " aaj ka zamaanaa bahut kharaab hai"? Yeah, them. I am referring to them. These people are usually the ones who can't accept change in their life. They are cynical, yes but won't actually do anything about the problem. Usually, they target us, youngsters, who have actually done no harm and are just under the line of fire beacuse they can't figure out what we think. They never actually mention why they disapprove, just make it very clear that they disapprove. So what's wrong with listening on the headphones while walking on the road? We are actually avoiding noise pollution. Listening to songs on the head phones makes us happy without harming others. Why don't you frigging understand that? Aye, about not being able to listen to the horns behind you, I'd say we value our lives more than you do. Of course, there always will be some nutters, but why should you generalise? And about today's world being a bad influence on us? Whether you like it or not, we are going to live in this world unless someone invents a time machine which works and we'll live in your oh so holier than thou world. But wait. HOLIER THAN TODAY'S WORLD????? You gotta be kidding me. Seriously. Who was responsible for the World War(s) ? Who was responsible for destroying so many Japanese lives? Who was responsible for the death of so many Jews? Who was responsible for all those broken families? YOUR so-called pure generation. What? You weren't there then? Here's something recent. Who is responsible for all those communal riots? To which generation does osama bin laden belong? Who is responsible for fucking up the environment so badly and dumping the reparation work on our laps? Who put a big hole in the ozone layer? Who didn't pay attention to birth control and is responsible for the mind-blowing population of today? and ironically, who is nagging US about birth control? Oh and who is responsible for racism, sexism and casteism? Aye. So now tell me what is so wrong with today's world? Are tattoos and piercings so bad? Or perhaps low waist jeans? Or maybe the fact that we are ditching mainstream and opting for other lines which benefit the environment too? Here these lines may seem quite unrelated superficially but the underlying implication is the same.......

When I born, I Black, When I grow up, I Black, When I go in Sun, I Black, When I scared, I Black, When I sick, I Black, And when I die, I still black.. And you White fella, When you born, you Pink, When you grow up, you White, When you go in Sun, you Red, When you cold, you Blue, When you scared, you Yellow, When you sick, you Green, And when you die, you Gray.. And you calling ME Colored ??

: ok I gotta go now. The big bad world outside is waiting for me. tally ho

Friday, April 18, 2008


I was just recollecting the names of Western bands and I found something rather weird.Check out these bands and the obvious emphasis that I have lain on some of it's words:

# RED hot chilli peppers
# GREENday
# BLACK eyed peas
# Plain WHITE T's
(hey, the third and the fourth rhymed too.Uh,sort of.Try saying them together in one breath )
# PINK Floyd

Coldplay's single " YELLOW", Donovan's album " Mellow YELLOW", Amelia Brightman goes by the name of "VIOLET", a Japanese J- pop and J- rock band is called " ORANGE Range ". OK. The ones I have mentioned without the "#" are the ones I checked on Wikipedia. SO SUE ME!!!!!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

In My Closet

Yeah. I have nothing better to do these days. I was actually going through my closet in hopes of finding the jeans i wanted to wear the next day. I didn't find it. Nor did I find any spare long forgotten, hundred rupees note or anything. * sighs * All such things always happen in movies. All the bad things like accidents, stalkers, .... which WE think happen only in movies happen to us. So anyway, I did find my wallet which I had bought some seven years back. It had no money in it but an original, cellotaped sheet ( I got stuck at this word sheet. first I wrote original cellotaped copy, but WTF is an original copy?????) of my first poem ever, which I had written as a part of elocution class assignment, and we were supposed to write this in candle light as there was no electric power in class at that time; (ugh. This reminds me of Monday when we had to complete our physics prelim paper in darkness, as power was out at the college). Here is the poem by the way,

Monsoon o monsoon,
I hope you come soon.

In your water we play,
We, children, happy and gay.

From June to September,
There will be a merry weather.

Tiny, clear drops of thee,
Shall delight each and every tree.

The sudden flash of lightening,
Won't that be frightening?

School will give us a holiday,
What fun! If you came everyday!

Monsoon o monsoon
I hope you really come soon.

Note : I wrote this poem when I was 9 or 10 i guess. I haven't changed a single word from it's original version and have just copied it as it is from the original sheet. Yeah I was very fond of couplets. :D

Thursday, April 10, 2008


Ok. The title should have been non - vegetarianism (say, is that even a noun?). Are you a non - vegetarian? I bet you meet a lot of people who look down their nose upon you because of that. They are just plain ignorant hypocrites. They may give you all that moral crap about harming a living thing and stuff. Here is what you can say to them :

# Sea food-eaters are mainly responsible for the employment of fishermen. Meat-eaters are responsible for employment of butchers. What if everyone goes vegetarian? Will you take the responsibility of providing employment to them?

# Most fishermen live along the coast. So they can't cultivate other crops on the saline land. Naturally, they will have to move. This is going to increase the strain on the land resources of the nation. Will you take the responsibility of providing them with proper, hygienic homes?

# It is because people who eat non - vegetarian, that it is possible to supply grains to the remaining people of India. If they all go vegetarian, who is going to provide all the extra grains? Will you take the responsibility of providing good food to over a billion people?

# This one's the best. They usually give the shit about harming animals. Here is what you can reply, " When animals are being caught, at least they can move to defend themselves. They can run away and escape. They at least have a chance. YOU all are cowards. Plants or crops can't even move from their places when you cut\harvest them. You don't even give them a chance to defend themselves. You just hack them, you cowards."

* That is why people say before you criticize others, look at what you are doing. The same thing applies to plastic also. But I'll talk about plastics some other time.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The Broken Nose Chronicles

Holi came and went. Leaving behind lasting colourful impressions. In my case, the impression was blue in colour. On my nose. And now it is broken Here is how that came about...

Two days back, my folks were out and there was nothing for dinner. I had my classes till late, so I could not save the day (ahhhh). So my brother, tired (he goes for cricket for 3-4 hours 4 days a week!!!!) and irritated went out and got sev puri for both of us.Two plates each. I came home by 9.30 by which my brother was already preparing his will in case he died of hunger. At the table,

Me : So what have you got for dinner?
Tired and Irriated brother ( Taib) : What do you think is in front of you, button eyes?
Me : alright, alright. So there are two plates for each of us right?
* Taib glares which leads to the breaking of The glass*
Me : Just checking.
( after a while)
Me ( my stomach full with sev puri ) : How can you finish two full plates so fast? I can't even complete my first plate. ahhhh
Taib : I haven't got buttoneyes. This is your second plate. I can see your empty first plate right beside you-
Me ( interrupting ) : No, no. You don't understand. This is my first plate. Why can't you believe such a simple thing like this?
Taib (getting more irritated) : achha? Then what is that beside you?
Me ( innocently ) : Oh that. That is my second plate. I decided to have my second plate of sev puri first. And NOW I am eating my first plate. So you see, I can't complete my first plate of sev puri. And that isn't my first empty plate. HA! I was right. Now say sorry for not believing me.
* I am waiting for the apology to come *
* Still there is nothing but silence *
After a while, I take a deep breath and prepare to say something-
Me : Owww. My nose, my nose. aaahhhh.

Moral of the story : Always eat the first plate of sev puri first.

Note :
How to ask minimum three questions from a single simple sentence.( ha ha an alliteration).

The sentence : " Spicymist was called a 'polypoplomaniac' by a girl named Culleez"
The questions : #1 WTF do you mean by spicymist?
#2 What is a polypoplomaniac?
#3 What sort of a name is Culleez?

* always remember the art lies in asking the correct kind of questions . hee hee

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Quote Hanger

I had put upon myself a restriction on using the net since december so that i can study for my boards in those hours. Needless to say most of it was wasted. Anyway, I came across many awesome quotes at this time. I,m not saying i believe in all of them but some are really amusing while others are thought inducing.

# Never be afraid of death, beacuse it is something which does not exist when you do.( though in ' the amber spyglass' they suggest otherwise.)

# When you truly love someone with all your heart, you must be willing to let them die before you, so that they don't have to go through the same pain of losing a dear one. *** ( *** conditions apply. this is valid only if the love is mutual between the two parties)

# All the martyrs like Bhagat Singh, Rani Laxmibai, Lal Bahadur shashtri never sacrificed their life for their motherland. They loved India more than anything else. So why would giving up their life for her freedom be a "sacrifice" ???

# Maybe sometimes we don't do the right thing because the wrong thing looks more dangerous, and we don't want to look scared, so we go and do the wrong thing BECAUSE its dangerous. We're more concerned with not looking scared than with judging right.
( quite something coming from a twelve-year old Will Parry.)

# You will be different. Sometimes you will feel like an outcast. But you'll never be alone. You will make my strength your own. You will see my life through your eyes as your's will be seen through mine. The son becomes the father, and the father, the son." ( i love this line in d movie. remember it????)

# Football is a strange game. Every player tries to get the ball. But when he actually gets it, all he does is kick it away. (muhahahahahahahaha)

# George W Bush will protect your unborn foetus and then let your grown child die in war.

# PJs are not meant for the listeners' entertainment; but for the teller's amusement on looking at thefrustration on the listener's face. ( whoever said this is a genius!!!)

# In passing also,I would like to say that, the first time Adam had a chance, he laid the blame on the woman. ( this was by Nancy Astor, the first woman to acquire a seat in England's parliament. )

# EASY is an adjective used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

# There are very few jobs that actually require a penis or vagina. So technically, all the other jobs must be open all.

# It is God's job to punish the terrorists but is our job to set up the meeting between them. ( long live the Indian Military.)

The best one of all

# Mutual fund investments are subject to market risk. Please read the offer document scheme carefully before investing. ( try reading that as fast as you can. you might just end up with a job!!)

["some" of the quotes have been plagiarised directly from HT, movies and novels. But frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. hee hee )