Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Random Talks

I have got a lot of tolerence in my nucleotides. But sometimes there are people whom you meet who make you regret not wearing a wig. Yeah well, wig because when you pull your real hair in frustration, it hurts. A lot. And then the world comes to know of the well-hidden dandruff and lice in your scalp too. So moral of the story invest in a wig. Be safe and fake-haired rather than letting the world know you share your hair with blood-sucking ticks because you can't avoid meeting these particular category of people. They just exist like cats do. I had the misfortune to encounter such a specimen in my college last year,(*drops to knees thanking the Authority for sending him to another college now*) who was a total narcissist. So after getting your brain banged within your skull listening about the innards of an earthworm and waiting for your mate by the gate in the burning sun, Bam enter the narcissist. ( for the sake of laziness to type narcissist again and again lets us refer to him as CNFTS in short for College Narcissist From Twelfth Standard ). So while you are waiting for your friend this CNFTS starts ranting about the uber cool date he had the previous night which involved roses,candlelight,soft music in the background ( * passes out thinking about the amount of corn involved* ), and the cycle goes on. You attend Physics and learn all about Electromagnetic Induction and again wait for your friend by the gate and this time CNFTS starts off about his celebrity relatives. Now this went on for like 12-15 days in a row ( yeah I told you I was tolerant, and you see i don't like ditching my friends either so i kept waiting by the gate too ) and then suddenly on the 16th day, the sun shone brighter, the trees looked greener, the birds chirped louder...Ok I'll stop. Everything was same except my mood. It was really pissed off. And here's the scene:
I am waitiing by the gate for my nutty mate to come down ( did I mention she was in a different division and her lecture timings were different, so the wait state? anyway, so now you know ) and CNFTS comes and starts. But this time he sees the expression on my face and goes:
CNFTS :Oh so you think I am making all of this up?

Me : No, I can't think at all. Thinking is injurious to health. I read the footnotes in the advertisements on TV.

CNFTS : Huh? So I will prove it to you that I am good. See that girl coming around the corner? I'll chat her up and she will compliment me in front of everyone. So you want to make it a challenge haan? Today you have questioned my intergrity? I cannot stay silent. I will have to give you a suitable reply

( All this was spoken in a shrill voice and by now a few people had gathered around the place too )

Me : WTF? What are you on about?

CNFTS : No you wait and see. I am going to chat up that chick and show it to you that I am good. ( leaves to talk to the random chick by the block. lets call her RCBTBL )

( After a while, when I have forgotten all about the sudden outburst from CNFTS, I hear the RCBTBL burst out laughing )

CNFTS crosses the road like a person who has just found the upper limit of infinity, amid imaginary applause.

CNFTS : See? I told you I was good. Do you know what she thinks of me?

Me : Ummmm. She thinks you are Pillankhrosh Mehta?

CNFTS : What? Who is he? no. She thinks I am cute. That I remind her of a puppy she had in her previous life...

Me : was that puppy called Pillankhrosh? ( * others are controlling their laughter right now* )

CNFTS : NO. So she said I reminded her of her puppy. And that she would like to call me a puppy. Can you imagine? She even said "bye for now, puppy. It was nice talking to you"

( * ok so the viewers can't control their laughter much longer * )

Me : Yeah? So why the hell are you smiling? Dude she just insulted you. what is a puppy? A puppy is nothing but a son of a bitch. She called you a son of a bitch and you thought she was complimenting you? HAHAHAHAHA . Awwww poor baby.

* And I left amid loud applause which wasn't imaginary in my case.*
Then of course I remembered that my friend still hadn't come and so I went back amid the cheers of encore and told my other gate-friends I had made in my wait state to tell my friend that my waiting days were over and again left amid imaginary applause back home.

Note : The incident I narrated didn't actually happen, but I wanted to make up a good story to post that conversation. bah if someone like that bugs me, I don't wait for the imaginary other division friend at all. Just show em the finger and move on. Cheers. I am going to post more such conversations which I had with my brothers and more imaginary ones too. :P


Scribblers Inc said...

you are a good scribe!!I am so in awe!

Scribblers Inc.

burf said...

i had to google for nucleotides

Anonymous said...

Haha!! What else can I say? Except I wish it was true!

spicymist said...

@ scribblers inc
thankee for ur awesome comment
@ burf
yeah i wish it was true too.

prIncEss said...

You asked me to check your blog... m glad you did that... I so love it... that's so much of you Ruch.. =p

smile-a-mile said...

lol.... that was cool :)

maybe you should write bollywood film script :p

Kalidas said...

was awesome! good reply to the narcissist.

Comfortably Numb said...

eeeeeeeyyyaaaaahahahahahha XD XD XD


Mystique said...

hey! that was awesome! wish it did happen for real though!
i'm glad i did check out your blog, and i take it as a compliment that u liked mine!
so tell me something about urself na, how do u know mansi (juzztmyblog) ... through my profile or are u a ruchi i know?!?

humbl devil said...

this was hilarious...kya yaar...you shouldnt have mentioned that it was fictitious!!!

spicymist said...

i wish that had happened too. But alas no bug narc to such an extent

Indranee said...

Initially I thought the incident happened:D...wonderful write up!
Check out my new blog-

Kris said...

hehe...nice one!!! wish i was there!!! (as part of the audience, of course) :D

Anonymous said...

u stole my story?!?!?! WTF!!! you could have just asked.....

just kidding ;) nice work...if u want to spam you know where to go :P


more spam-worthy stuff coming up :D

Sadique Ali said...

nice read, mate !

Abhinav Viswambharan said...

There are not many posts which actually have people burst into laughter after reading them.

I couldn't control my laughter when I read that beautiful description of a Puppy - son of a B*t*h.

Hope you do it for real the next time you come across a similar situation. :)

Sakshi said...

Innovative and very smart.
i like it :)

Roy said...


*** thinking is injurious to health. :-):-)

Accidentallly, you hv come up with this innovative conversation through IMAGINATION :)

Wish You A Colorful DIwali.

Eric S. said...

That was good for a laugh. Funny.

YEDA said...

Hey, I hope you read this among the crowd. It was good. BTW is this guy someone I know? As in did you mention him to me? And am I in the list of your "brothers"

spicymist said...

@ yeda anna
yeah i think i might have mentioned him to you. will elaborate when you come home. and of course you are oe of my brothers =)) now brother as in the brother they define in the dictionary. not "brothers" .

Manu Akula said...

Candle light dinner, soft music in the background, a walk on the beach, the angels singing from up above and wasnt cupid there ? I am sure that little fella must have been on that date !

I am sure you would love to go on that date, eh K.Ruchi ?

spicymist said...

never. ill ditch the date and play with the candle. that much corn will kill me. my kind is more on the lines of bungee jumping n ice skating or blowing up the chem lab:P

Scribblers Inc said...

spelunkin actually means checkin out caves, but I got the term from a calvin and hobbes strip where calvin decides to go spelunking and drops stones in the lake which make a "spelunk" sound and hence the word!!:)

Scribblers Inc.

P.S.-This comment would make a lot of people wonder what this is about...for you guys...GO FIGURE!! :D

spicymist said...

so u like spelunking eh? how do u define it? throwing stones in the lake or cave exploring?

Arjun said...

haha.. lolz

I know so many pp; like that... Tell me where do u get a wig???
I've plucked so much of my hair that i'm getting bald.. ;)

Anyways, nice story .... Nice style..


•♥•♥[V]♥•♥• said...

:D hehe
thank you for writing this :D

Meshrum said...

Ah! This post deserves some real applause ;)