Thursday, February 12, 2009

Enough Red Already!

I hate red colour! Red cars, Red clothes, Red shoes, Red watches, Red roses , Red balloons( especially of the heart shaped variety). I mean come on!! Why would you want to express your love to someone with red balloons ( of heart-shaped variety ) , red roses, T-shirts with big red hearts on them with 'I *heart* U ' written in bold letters just because everyone else is doing the same? Who in turn are doing this just because Archies and Hallmark are telling them to do that? jeez. Talk about blind followers! Better join the group ' A Consortium of Pub-going, Loose and Forward Women.' on facebook and send a pink chaddi to Mr. Muthalik of the prestigious Ram Sene. Best thing you can do this Love-Day. Oh and yeah, I came across this interesting e-mail about Valentine's Day, which I am copy pasting below. So, make sure you read the above line carefully before you decide to sue me for plagiarism. The e-mail goes this way ...

Valentine's Day- The Real Story

In spite of what you have been told by everyone, the truth is that
Valentine's Day originated hundreds of years ago, in India , and to top it
all, in the state of Gujarat !!!

It is a well known fact that Gujarati men, specially the Patels,
continually mistreat and disrespect their wives (Patelianis). One fine day,
it happened to be the 14th day of February, one brave Patelani, having had
enough "torture" by her husband, finally chose to rebel by beating him up
with a Velan (rolling pin to make chapattis).
Yes....the same Velan which she used daily, to make chapattis for him....
only this time, instead of the dough, it was the husband who was flattened.

This was a momentous occasion for all Gujarati women and a revolt soon
spread, like wild fire, with thousands of housewives beating up their
husbands with the Velan. There was an outburst of moaning "chapatti-ed"
husbands all over Anand and Amdavad.

The Patel men-folk quickly learnt their lesson and started to behave more
respectfully with their Patelanis.
Thereafter, on 14th February every year, the womenfolk of Gujarat would
beat up their husbands, to commemorate that eventful day - the wives having
the satisfaction of beating up their husbands with the Velan and the men
the supreme joy of submitting to the will of the women they loved.

Soon The Gujju men realised that in order to avoid this ordeal they need to
present gifts to their wives....they brought flowers and sweets. This is
how the tradition - Velan time - began.

As Gujarat fell under the influence of Western culture, the ritual soon
spread to Britain and many other Western countries, specifically,the catch
words 'Velan time' !!! In course of time, their foreign tongues, this got
anglisized to 'Velantime' and then to 'Valentine'. And thereafter, 14th of
February, came to be known as Valentine's Day and now you know the true
story of Valentine's day.


PS : I found this original version better than the original version about St Valentine or whatever-his-name. And they should have stuck to the beating part. It sure would have been fun to wake up on V-day and see ladies beating the shit out of their husbands instead of the red turd we see these days. Today's generation * shakes head ruefully * And in a way I'm glad it's V-day on saturday. Gave me inspiration to write hate mail for Love-Day. Ha! Yeah and every fuckin' radio station is celebrating valentine's week. So everytime you surf through stations expecting Coldplay, Eminem and the likes all you get is either Enrique or Atif Aslam.
Phbbbt! At least leave the songs alone!


Anonymous said...

I hate pink... I hate red on this days.. I mean I do love red but this is going overboard.. YUCKY!

And red heart shaped balloons just remind me of DCH, remember?

spicymist said...

yeah. what was the guy's name ?Subodh right? what would you do if a guy insists on giving you a heart shaped balloon everyday? commit suicide?

Anonymous said...


C R D said...

hee hee !! velantime day! :P

I'll try 2 be truthful said...

I puke everytime i see those stupid heart shaped balloons (retching) .

The 'patel' story rocks, cheers to all the pateliniis .

*Yeah and every fuckin' radio station is celebrating valentine's week.*

seriously yaar , how many of 'em really feel 'love'ly ??

angel from heaven said...

hee hee I can just see all patlanis beating up their hubbies on "velans day"
lolz :)